II Chronicles 7:14

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Friday, October 17, 2008

How'd we get HERE?

"My kids would have NEVER been allowed to behave like that!"

It was that statment by my mom yesterday that really 'slapped me in the face' so to speak. My reply to her was, "And what would you have done to have kept them from acting like that?"
To which she said, "First of all, my kids would already know better and secondly, I'd have yanked them up and wooped their butts and if they still didn't obey, we would have left."
How was I raised by such a great mom...and somehow...didn't inherit her wonderful mothering traits and techniques?
Somehow, someway over the past 7 1/2 years of having kids, I have become a "softie".
Now, don't get me wrong, I do WAY MORE than my share of yelling and spanking and growling at the kids....but that is when I'M mad. If I'm not mad, if I understand why they're upset, then I seem to 'turn the other cheek'. ---- Not good.
Yesterday after an entire (exhausting) day of running errands with the kids (and my mom) we took them to Incredible Pizza Company. It's not that they 'deserved' it per-say....but I had a coupon (ha ha) and gosh, I think any kid who puts up with riding all over town cooped up in a vehicle for hours should get a little break to run out some energy and play. (right?) (even though they had been naughtier-than-usual all day long--nothing real bad--just mouthy and irritating)
Anyway, after we ate and then played some games, we took our tickets to the "ticket muncher" thing for them to get counted. Then we took our little receipt and went over to redeem it for the junky little "prizes" that they give out. But..the problem was....there was some party there and we were going to have to wait our turn behind about 50 other kids!!! YIKES! So, I attempted to talk my kids into just saving the slip and redeeming it next time. After some coercing, I talked Brooklyn into it..but Grant. Well, a 4 year old (who is used to getting his way {cringe}) just doesn't understand that, I guess. He immediately started throwing a fit. Crying and writhing on the floor. When I finally told him to "GET UP!" He began punching me and kicking me and slapping me. And what did I do? I just looked over at my mom and Matt (who had joined us) with this defeated look on my face. I didn't even address the situation going on with Grant. I just stood there, taking the beating, ready to cry. Thankfully my usually very unassertive husband (when it comes to discipline) took Grant and scolded him for it. He did quit hitting me...but the crying went on for a good half hour. {{Sigh....}} I know he had earned a woopin--but I just kept thinking about how he must feel. First of all, he was tired. Secondly, he'd been EXTREMELY clingy to me that day, wanting me to hold him and cuddle with him all day long. Even at the stores, he wanted to be right with me, his arms snuggly wrapped around my neck, planting kisses on my cheeks every few minutes. When he normally would have wanted to get down and run with his sister, he chose, instead, to stay right by mommy. Of course my heart was torn when he started acting like this. Plus, I knew he was really disappointed that he didn't get to get the paddleball he'd been eyeying through the prize case.
I told my mom, "I feel like a bad episode of Super Nanny--but without the Nanny there to help!"
How'd we get HERE?
Where did we stray off the course?
and most importantly, how do we get back?
I mean, I realize this isn't anything new. This has been going on for quite some time now with our family....(Grant's anger fits, Brooklyn's smartaleck mouth, ungratefulness from both of them)...but it's times like this that make me just want to run away. Of course, I won't because I love them and they mean enough to me for me to do whatEVER it takes.
I even DO know somethings I should do to change things...
I guess what I'm confused about is how we got here in the first place? Like anything, I think it creeps in one little tiny bit at a time and the next thing you know, you've got a full-blown ISSUE on your hands.
Anyway, that's what's going on in my head today....if you were wondering! :o)


Simmons girlz said...

One of the other cheer moms gave me a great idea for two things that just might help. With Grants fits, she said her daughter started doing that and one day she was at her breaking point. She picked her up and put in the shower with cold water to cool her off. And she told her when she was done, she could get out.
Her next advise which we are so going to use will help with Brooklyn. It is called Sassy Spray. You get a water bottle and mix water and vinegar. And use it especially when they get sassy! Oh Shawn and I have both agreed that we are so going to start doing this! Anyways hope this helps get you back on track!

Simmons girlz said...

Okay just to clairify, the sassy spray goes in the mouth. And when I say cold water, it doesnt have to be freezing, just enough to get their attention. After I talked to you, I realized that it sounded much harsher than it really is.

Teresa said...

I really like Simmons Girlz suggestions... a lot. I might just have to try them.

My only advice is consistency...consistency...consistency...stay firm...it will pay off in the end...and remember...it's WAY easier to stay firm and lay the rules down and demand for them to be respected NOW rather than when they are teens! If you think it's bad now...it's be REALLY bad then. That always helps me...