II Chronicles 7:14

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Friday, August 29, 2008

It's slow growing...

It seems like I've been growing my hair out forever! I look at pictures from the beginning of summer and I can hardly see any difference at all. Anyone got any suggestions for making your hair grow faster?
I remember in jr. high we would use this stuff called Mane & Tail that you had to buy at the vet. It was for horses--for their mane and tail..but supposedly it would make your hair grow faster! ha ha.... I doubt it worked and here all of us girls were washing our hair with animal shampoo!
Then in high school someone said if you take prenatal vitamins it will make your hair AND nails grow faster (and stronger) so there we went off to the pharmacy to get prenatal vitamins! I never did see any results from taking them...but at least I was getting some kind of vitamins--which I probably needed at that time in my life when my diet consisted of chips, bean burritos and diet coke!
Anyway, I'm sure there's some other remedy out there for making your hair grow faster...it'll probably be dumb and useless too...but at least it will make me think I am doing something to help! ha ha

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Timely gifts?

I'm one of those people who loves to give very thought-out, useful, meaningful gifts. I can't STAND to just go buy something just for the sake of giving someone a gift. I also take pride and joy in getting a bargain. Meaning I am able to give something to someone that maybe originally cost $50 but I only paid $20 for it. That being said, I keep my eyes open all year round for things I can give people either for b-day gifts or at Christmas that I know will be special and just perfect for them, and for bargains, of course. When I find something, I buy it and put it in my "gift closet" to hold until that special occasion...which most often is Christmas. But here's where the whole ?question? about it comes up....is it totally weird and un-natural to give people stuff for Christmas that can only be used in Summer? For instance, beach towels, a cute swim-suit cover up, sandals....
Last year at the end of summer I found a GREAT deal on those picnic blanket things. They are waterproof vinyl on one side and then like soft cotton on the other side (cute prints). They are normally $20 at Target but I found them for $4.99 so I bought them all. I thought they would be perfect gifts for all the young married's in my family (I have several neices and nephews who are just starting their families). But when it came time to wrap them up, it just felt really dumb and weird giving them something like a picnic blanket when there's 6 inches of snow on the ground outside.
This year I found a STEAL on NICE beach towels at Kohl's. These towels were regularly selling for $24.99/each and I got them for $4.13/each. I bought them up and now they are sitting in my gift closet and I am already feeling like a big DORK for thinking of giving beach towels to people for Christmas.
So.....I wonder....am I really strange for doing this? Would you think "how weird!" if you got a beach towel from someone for Christmas? Does it make me look cheap? Do any of you do stuff like this?

Miracles DO happen!

So..you'll NEVER guess who just called me!!!!???
The lady from the tanning salon and she was VERY sweet and apologetic and said she would get me a check in the mail TODAY for the full amount that I paid for the gift certificate!! I just can NOT believe it! I really, truely never thought I'd get a penny back on this deal...and especially not without me having to be a bully about it. She said she has been out of town for the past 10 days but has gotten all my many messages and my note that I left the other day and "is very sorry that no one contacted me to let me know what was going on." Wow!
Never in a million years would I have expected that!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Aug 27-Nov 27 = 90 days!

So...guess what I just realized? That 90 days from today, August 27 is THANKSGIVING DAY! That means that if we ALL start today...we can be looking WAY good by then! I know this is the wrong blog for this...but I wanted to extend the invitation to ALL my friends and readers and not just those of you who read my P90X blog. So, here's my plan: Let's commit to one another to ALL get at least SOME kind of exercise every day for the next 90 days. That's simple enough, right? I am doing P90X again...but you don't have to do something like that...just make an effort to do SOMETHING. My suggestion would be do some kind of weights every other day and do some kind of cardio every other day. For instance, you could work your arms & abs on Monday, cardio on Tuesday, work on your shoulders/back & abs on Wednesday, cardio on Thursday, work your legs & abs on Friday, cardio on Saturday and on Sunday, do little intervals--5 min. of weights alternating with 5 min. of cardio. That's just a suggestion...but that would be a way to get your whole body worked each week.
Of course, if you also make some changes to your diet..you'll see results MUCH faster! Anyway, feel free to check in with me daily on my P90X blog and leave me comments to let me know you're in this with me.
Thanksgiving is around the corner either way--whether you do it or not...so what have you got to lose? (besides flab? :o)
***By the way, if any of you are interested in doing the P90X program with me, I would be happy to make you a copy of the written work outs. I can't copy the DVD's...but you really don't have to have them. They have the entire workouts written out (including warm up and cool down) in the manual. Just leave me a comment and let me know. **Serious requests only though...since it would be a LOT of copying (paper, ink & postage) to send it to you. :o)

Fun and Games?????

I was raised in a family who, trying to live a strict Christian life, didn't even own a TV for most of my childhood years. We learned to value family time and game night and Bible reading together. Things I cherish now as an adult (although surprisingly I never despised them as a child either).
Now that I am grown with children of my own, I am having to make decisions about how they should be raised. What kinds of things they are going to be exposed to and possibly become addicted to. And so--the subject of "gaming" has come up. The only kind of game system I ever played was an Atari (at my friends house) and then as a young teenager, my brother and his family who came to live with us for a few months, brought their original (Super Mario Bro's/Duck Hunt) Nintendo. I had a great time playing that for those months but that was the end of it. Never again in all my years have I had the opportunity or desire to play any kind of video games again.
Well...to be completely correct and honest, a few years back we did borrow the Nintendo from my brother (they still had it after ALL these years!!) because we thought it would be fun to try out the old games again (Matt used to love Mike Tyson's Punch Out). We played it for a couple of days...but other than that, it's just been sitting in our spare bedroom.
Okay..so that brings us up to current...
Last night while I was busy, Matt and the kids got it out and started playing it. Brooklyn likes it but I think she could take it or leave it. Grant on the other hand...well, I just see this as a pivotal time. I'm either going to allow him to keep playing it and become "addicted" or I could start right now at this very fresh beginning and put limits on his playing time.
At the moment, its very convenient for him to be playing it because I am working (well, really, I was until I started blogging! ha ha) and he's having so much fun...hollering out to me every few minutes that he "got big" or "got killed" or whatever.
So, I'm wondering...what do you guys think about this? I know...everything within reason and in BALANCE is usually okay...but I wonder, how many of your kids are addicted to these machines? If I start letting my 4 year old play Nintendo...does that mean that by Christmas he'll be asking for a Wii or playstation or something?
Maybe this is something I don't even want to get started. Because honestly, I think playing video games (other than on occasion for a short period of time) is just a waste of brain cells and time. Yes, you can learn something from it...eye hand coordination or whatever...but you can also learn that from REAL things like riding your bike and playing outside and reading a book and stringing beads onto a necklace and so forth. I've always had a prejudice towards guys who sit and play video games for hours on a daily basis. To me, anything that requires you to sit for hours on your butt and do nothing productive (and doesn't pay) is just LAZY and USELESS.
So...what are your thoughts on this subject?

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

This really chaps my hide...

A couple of months ago, I bought my mom a gift certifcate for tanning at our local (small, family-owned) tanning salon. It was $25 for 10 sessions in the stand-up bed. Well...she never did use it so last month when I was wanting to start tanning before my pictures, she gave it to me and said for me to just use it. That was perfect since I needed to tan anyway...or so I thought. Turns out the place was NEVER open. Every single time I went to try to tan...no one was there---despite their hours being posted (and I was there during those hours) and a big neon "Yes We're Open" sign in the window. Finally, after about 2 weeks of this, I called and left a message. Then a few days later, my mom called and left a mesage. A week after that the lady calls and says that she is trying to sell the business but that she is still open (she had been on vacation the prior weeks) but that I could still come and use it. Okay...great! So, again, I try and try and try to use it...but again..no one is EVER there. Now today, the sign has been taken down and if you call the phone #..there is no answering machine anymore. Apparently she has gone out of business.
Now...the best thing for me to do at this point would be to throw away the gift certificate and just chuck this one up to bad luck. But no. I can't. It's driving me crazy! I mean...I gave the lady my hard-earned money in exchange for tanning...and if she can't provide me the tanning..then I believe she OWES me my money. Right?
When I went today and saw that she had "closed shop"--well that was just the last straw. I was so ticked off. She has NEVER returned any of my phone calls over the last 2 weeks to try to figure out a time when I could come tan (and I've left about 1 every other day). She is obviously avoiding me and probably rolls her eyes everytime she hears my name or my voice on her answering machine. But as far as I'm concerned...this isn't over. I left her a letter on the door today (a nice one...even though I REALLY wanted to say something hateful). So we'll see where that gets me.
What do ya'll think? Should I just throw the dumb gift certifcate away and just forget about it? Or am I right to think she should refund my money? And what can I do about it?

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Shake, shake, shake! Shake Yo Boo-tay!

You know what stinks? That Christian's don't have any where decent to go to dance! I mean...anywhere there's dancing...there's also smoking and drinking and cursing and lots of nastiness. I want to go somwhere where I can sip on a cherry limeade and do the electric slide and not feel like I'm partaking in something sinful. Maybe dance a little salsa, some disco even a country song or two--break out the linedancing! Who doesn't have fun doing the motions to the YMCA? I think us young, married, Christian couples NEED this kind of thing! I mean, I don't know too many people who don't feel a little extra-romantic when they're in their lover's arms swaying to the beat of a good song. Sure, we can do it in the confines of our homes...but most of us have little ones running around our feet and THAT can totally "ruin" the moment! Plus, there's something about being in public...you see the love others share and it makes you reflect on how much you love your special someone. (or at least that's how it works for me).
I know there is a lot of ungodliness that is associated with dancing...but it doesn't have to be that way--does it?
Who else out there is with me on this? What can we do about it?

Friday, August 22, 2008

ignorance is (SO NOT) bliss

...when it comes to computers! I can NOT stand spending (wasting) HOURS sitting here at my computer trying to figure out something that I KNOW is probably a simple task...but because I am SO ignorant about these complex machines (who I SWEAR have a mind of their own)...I can't figure it out for the life of me!
What I want to do is this: I want to create some kind of "picture" where 2 pictures are side by side (before & after). I don't want to post them one after the other....I want them to be beside each other. Does anyone know how to do that? I know it can be done because almost everyone who does P90X posts their before and after pictures and they are side-by-side--almost like a document of their own. Anyway, please pass along the knowledge if you know...I'd sure appreciate it.
Also, I'd really LOVE to change the background of my blog to something cute and fun and funky like most of you all have...but I am TOOOOOO scared I'll lose everything like the last time I tried it! I decided right then that plain black was plenty "cool" for me! :o)

Bargain Alert!! Bargain Alert!!

Hey there everyone!
Just wanted to let you know about 2 bargains going on right now that you should TOTALLY take advantage of!!

1. Origins skincare (http://www.origins.com/) is giving away a free sample set of your choice with ANY purchase and they are offering FREE shipping. If you remember a while back, I told ya'll about a product they sell that is AMAZING. It's called Peace of Mind On The Spot Relief. It' a little bottle of this miracle potion that you can use to ease muscle tension or relieve a headache and it works EVERY SINGLE TIME for me. I get this awful muscle spasm thing in my shoulder/back from being on the computer so much and this stuff takes it away within seconds!! It's only $10....so if you buy it right now (like I just did) you not only get that...but you also get a (nice size) sample set of their skin care stuff (I got the Andrew Weil Plantidote set) and FREE shipping and all I paid was $10.88 TOTAL! This is a really great deal!

2. JEANS! Old Navy is offering their kids jeans this Saturday (August 23) for only $7 and their adult jeans for only $12!!! They are putting a limit of 3 pairs per person....but if you take the whole family...well, for me that could equal up to 12 pair! Plus, if you can't make it out to the store...they have their famous $7 shipping. Shipping is always only $7 with Old Navy--unless you spend $150 and then it's free!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Things that make ya go... HA HA HA

Just now while waiting in a long line of cars to pick up my kids from school, I looked over at the vehicle next to me. There was a little girl, probably about 9 or 10 yrs old, in the passenger front seat just STARING at me. For like 2 straight minutes..her eyes never left my face. Then all of a sudden she stuck her tongue out at me---and just held it there! What else could I do but stick my tongue out right back at her!!! I think I REALLY surprised her because she immediately put her tongue back in her mouth and then jumped into the back of the SUV! ha ha ha ha ha
It may have not been the most motherly thing to do..but MAN I sure got a good giggle out of that!! I'm still chuckling.....hee heee hee

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

This is driving me NUTS!!

I have had a severe muscle spasm (twitching) in my right thigh for FOUR DAYS NOW! It's about to make me CRAZY! It stops and starts ALL day and night long. Sometimes it's fast...sometimes its slower...and sometimes it looks like my leg is vibrating! I would say it does this about every 5 minutes and last night, it KEPT waking me up all throughout the night. Matt says "that is so weird. Something about that is not right." Grant says "I think there is a frog in there!" and Brooklyn says, "Oh, it's like there is a baby in your leg and its kicking!"
Everyone has their theory...but I don't really know what to think. I've checked it out on the internet and all I can find is that it could be due to excessive caffeine (which is impossible given the fact that I rarely ever eat chocolate and I don't drink soda) or it could be due to a lack of nutrients and that a person with twitching should eat more fruits and veggies. Well, if I ate any MORE fruits and veggies than I am already eating..I think I'd throw up. I am eating them at almost every meal. Bluchk....
So...anyone have any suggestions or ideas? I have hit it, massaged it, pressed on it....nothing helps. As a matter of fact, it's going to town RIGHT now! ha ha
Seriously, it's like a creature has invaded my leg!!

Monday, August 18, 2008


I think there are many different views on the subject of being "spoiled". Of course, it could mean something that was once good, has gone bad (food). It could mean that an undeservng person is getting "too many" blessings. It could be referring to an attitude of ungratefulness.

In terms of children, what would you say the definition of "spoiled" is?

Is it taking them anywhere they want to go? Is it buying them anything they ask for? Is it giving them your undivided time and attention? Is it reflected in the way they talk? the way they act? in their attitude?

I appreciate your feedback on this....as I am trying to determine if I am really, truly raising myself a couple of spoiled rotten kids...or if the person who said that just didn't know what they were talking about.

Sunday, August 17, 2008


My head is in such a funk today. I HATE the way I am feeling. It's grouchy and super analytical and depressed. I seriously feel like I could stare at a blank wall for hours and just analyze my life and all the things I need to do better. Blahh!!
On top of it, our Sunday School lesson today, titled "Fear of Rejection" really "sliced me and diced me." I realized that a LOT of what I do is fueled by just that---fear of rejection. I have this mentality that if I am the BEST that I can be in every single thing...then no one will reject me...and even if they do---it won't be because of something I did (or didn't do).
Like...if I am the BEST wife (look good, dress cute, keep a spotless house, cook healthy/good, mother well, meet all his needs, etc. etc. etc.) then I will never have to fear that Matt will find someone better than me. And if he ever does leave me, well then at least I can rest assured that it wasn't for a lack of me trying.
How demented is that?
I mean...who is he that I should hold him so HIGH that my view of my self-worth rests solely on his shoulders? Don't get me wrong...its no wrong of his. It's PURELY my fault. I know without a doubt that he WISHES I didn't put him on such a pedestal. I can have an awful, self-concious, sad day all because he said something harsh or unloving to me in the morning. Maybe he didn't like what I was wearing or said something about my hair looking gross or that I looked like I'd put on a few pounds (GASP!)...it will haunt me all day..sometimes all week! Poor guy!
It just makes me wonder...what is wrong with me that I am like this?
Most people who said they struggled with fear of rejection could trace it back to a significant event or time in their life when they experienced severe rejection. (a parent walking out on them, a spouse leaving them, a childhood embarrasment) But me? I don't have any reason to be like this.
I have definitely come a LONG LONG WAY from where I was as a child/young teen though. I can't tell you how many things I missed out on in my childhood JUST because I was afraid of what people might think or say about me. How many games and contests I wouldn't participate in...how many clubs and parties I skipped out on...how many questions I didn't answer in class---all because I had fear of rejection.
I don't know where it came from, but I hate it and I NEVER want to see my kids be plagued with it. I mean, of course, we all have our times when we feel a little self-concious...but I'm talking about it being a part of daily life.
Anyway, I am really overwhelmed with thoughts today and I am supposed to be at my desk working...not blogging..but I just wanted to get this out and see if maybe typing it would help.
How many of you would say you have a real fear of rejection? Or am I the only one? I was shocked by how many people in my Sunday School today said they have NO fear of rejection!

Friday, August 15, 2008

From a drunks eye view...

As you probably noticed, I posted our whole family's mug shots for you to see! ha ha
Last weekend we visited the Riverwalk in our town. We've never been on a weekend night and were delighted to see they had several live bands, lots of people and food and a few stores and vendors open. We had a fun time enjoying the weather and just walking up and down the river. One of the vendors was a guy (who was drinking more than he was making, I'm sure) who draws charicture pictures of people. We decided to waste 24 bucks and have the whole family done. (and lucky for him...he could buy a few more beers!) This is what you call REDNECK PHOTOGRAPHY right here folks!!

How could I forget?

I took the kids a couple of weeks ago and got their pictures taken. I forgot to show them to you all. Since I am not very computer-savvy..I don't know how to show them to you other than to take a picture of the pictures....
This first one is the Trilogy that I spent a Friggin Fortune on! But....hey...they're cute kids...how could I resist? hee hee
This 2nd one is of them looking at one another and looking like they LIKE one another. Again...it's so RARE that I see anything like this, how could I resist?
This 3rd one is one of my favorites...even though it wasn't planned. As I walked out of the room to get their change of clothes, I heard a loud yell noise. Apparently the kids were still in the same pose as the photographer had put them in...but Grant had decided to scream at Brooklyn and the lady snapped the shot! When I saw it, I cracked up! This is a much more realistic "view" of them than that last shot! ha ha
And finally....the new mousepad. I actually bought 2 because it turns out they are only $10.95 instead of $25 like I thought. I got one for me and one for my mom--of different poses so we can trade out every couple of months!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

First Day of School

Freedom comes in all kinds of packages...today mine came in the form of SCHOOL!!! Hooray! The kids were so glad to be going back! First I took Brooklyn this morning. She got the teacher she had been hoping for (hooray!!) I can't believe she's already in 2nd grade! I actually starting crying last night when I had to fill out a whole page "about my child" and I reflected on what a special, special little girl she really is. One of my favorite things about her is that she likes to single out the most un-liked child in a group, and befriend them. It's like her calling. She can't stand to see anyone be picked on or looked down upon. Last year, she buddied up with a little boy who had some mental disabilities. Because of her friendship, he blossomed in their classroom (and that is according to the teacher and the little boy's mom who were both VERY grateful for Brooklyn's mother-hen instincts toward him). She doesn't have any friends from last year OR from Kindergarten in her class this year, so she was a little bummed out...but I think it may just be God's way of broadening her friendship-spectrum.
Although I didn't buy either of them any new clothes for school...(they SO didn't need any)...she pulled out her favorite outfit and we did her nails and toes (french manicure). I also dried her hair and helped her style it this morning. She was very happy with how she looked...which makes mama happy! Here she is struttin her stuff!

Grant ended up getting afternoon Pre-K instead of mornings like we had hoped for. I was really bummed at first, but I think it's gonna be okay. Again...could very well be God planned it this way. It's only been one day and already I have noted several benefits to the afternoon class. Anyway, even though he wouldn't admit it to me (Mr. Tuff Guy) I think he was pretty nervous about his first day at "big" school, as he calls it. Here are a few pics of him getting ready (I couldn't resist the nudy shot...he's so skinny and tan!) and then all spiffed up in his "G" shirt and camo shoes and backpack.

This is how he looked most of the time today...very quiet.

Here is one of him at school and the lady in the background in the white shirt is his teacher.

And lastly, here is one of him sitting at his "desk".

God's Will...

I'm curious as to what you guys think about this.
I know it is ALWAYS God's will for our bodies to be well and healed. (I've listened to enough Keith Moore lately to have that engrained in my head! ha ha) I know that God is willing and able.
When a person is in their mid 80's and diagnosed with cancer throughout their entire body---is it even realistic or right to believe for their healing? I mean...God does say we will all die eventually. Who's to say when it's our time?
I'm so confused on how I should be thinking and believing right now for my grandma. According to the doctors, the prognosis is bad. According to God's word---she can be healed. What should I be praying for???

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Gas Prices Rising---a reason to be Thankful

How many of you, like me, have used the rising gas prices to get out of going somewhere?
I didn't realize it, but as I am sitting here at my desk working, I am thinking about something I am supposed to do today, but don't really want to. AH HA!! I have the perfect reason I can't go---gas. It's not a lie either...I mean, this place I should be going...it's a good half-hour drive there and back...which does mean a lot of gas. A full hour of driving would probably cost me at LEAST $5 in gas...maybe more. I'm not good at figuring out the numbers, but I know I fill up ($60) once every 5 days or so.
Anyway, as I started thinking of it, I have actually been able to use the high gas prices to my advantage SEVERAL times in the recent months. And...no one can disagree either. I mean, especially for me, who lives in the boonies and has to drive a minimum of 20 minutes to get ANYWHERE. It seems ridiculous to drive all the way into town just to go somewhere for an hour (to do something that technically I could do just as well at home) and then have to drive another 30 minutes all the way back. Who can argue with that? Of course, if it was something I REALLY wanted to do....I'd still do it regardless.
Oh for pete's sake...why am I trying to be so elusive? What I'm talking about here is going to the gym. As I mentioned before...my gym...the one I've been going to for 4 1/2 years has closed its doors for remodeling for the next 6 months. My only options now are to 1) stay at home and do my P90X workouts only or 2)Drive to another town and go to that gym. I have a friend who also lives in my town who has been inviting me to come to the gym she is working out at during this time. And as much as I already miss the gym and my classes..I just can't justify driving all that way to do a work out when I can just pop in a DVD at home and do the same thing. I guess if I really, really, really wanted to go...I'd just do it and forget about the gas.
Anyway, I can think of at least 2 more times just this PAST WEEK that I have turned something down because of "the gas prices" and I just wondered...do any of you do this too?
Of course, we all probably stay home more now to save on gas...but I'm talking about using the gas prices as your excuse for getting out of something that you don't WANT to do.

The Photo Shoot

I know several of you are waiting on the "big story" I have to tell about my photo shoot last Thursday night! It's quite a story, I promise. It would make for a great blog post--very entertaining---but a bit TOO enlightening I'm afraid. I'm not sure I want to divulge that many details about myself here for the world to see...SO...I think I am going to type up a whole big story, save it to my computer and then just e-mail it to whomever is interested. I have a hard time deciphering between what is too personal and what is okay to tell EVERYone. I would prefer to just put it all out there--but sometimes that's not very smart. I remember this one post I read when I very first starting blogging. It was a girl who wrote about her Brazillian Waxing experience. I laughed SO hard and SO long...and I think that post was actually one of the major reasons I started blogging! She was extremely open and honest about every single aspect of that story...and I loved it! But--I also didn't know her. Had I been her sister or daughter or mother...I might have felt a LOT different about her posting details about her "private parts" on the world wide web.
And so for that reason, this story will go out to ONLY those who leave me a comment telling me you wanna hear it.
I was going to at least post a few "getting ready" pics for you all...but this dumb Blogger won't let me. Grrr.....
Maybe I'll try again later. They aren't very good pics anyway seeing as how they are taken while I'm sitting up high in a Director's Chair and Brooklyn is the photographer way down by the floor. You can practically see up my nose!! ha ha

Monday, August 11, 2008

Yur killin' me here!

Friday night me and hubby had one of those talks. I'm sure you've all had them. They start out innocent--harmless-- and then suddenly without warning, someone says something that feels like a blow to the heart.
It was all my fault really. I started it. I thought it'd be fun to play a game of "would you rather" with him. I started out with things like "Would you rather me wear a dress or jeans when we go out?" "Would you rather go for a ritzy night on the town or do something more casual and rough-neck?" "Would you rather me be a girly-girl or a tough-girl?" and on and on. (by the way, he said girly-girl on that one!) And as if THAT wasn't bad enough....then I asked the really BAD question: "Would you be happy if I was skinny but not fit and musclar or would you rather me keep working out and toning my muscles?" He said "Skinny". To which I said in horror, "You mean if I stayed this skinny but never worked out another day in my life...you wouldn't care?" And he said, "yah."
Eerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk! (sound of nice, happy conversation coming to a screeching stop!)
Okay....at that point I realized that my husband of over 10 years has just told me that 2 of my strongest assets (I feel) are things he doesn't appreciate or like. I've always been proud that I'm not a sissy girl. I don't worry about messing my nails or hair up. I can get down and dirty shoveling or mowing or anything else that a guy can do. If the tub gets clogged, just give me a screwdriver and I'll fix it. If the light needs to be changed, the trash taken out, the oil in the car changed--whatever it is--I can handle it. There is VERY little, if anything, that I have to have a man do for me. Not that I don't appreciate TOTALLY when he does do those things...because I do...but I hate for him to have to come home from a long day at work to do all kinds of stuff around the house for me.
Secondly, my muscles. I am proud of these muscles. I have worked HARD for these muscles. I have the biggest biceps of any girl I know (well, almost) and I also think I have great legs--considering I'm 30 and the mother of 2 kids. It takes constant dedication and motivation to maintain this level of fitness and muscularity. I'm no body-builder by ANY means...nor would I EVER want to be--but I'm also not flabby and jiggly like some of the other "skinny" girls I know.

That being said, I have always known that Matt loves girls to be and look like girls. The cutsier the shoes...the better. The frillier the dress or shirt...the better. The more "dolled up" I get---the better. And I LOVE getting fixed up. If it weren't for the money, I'd probably always have on cute, girly clothes and shoes, the best make up, great jewelry, nails done, hair fixed....etc.

This whole subject "devastates" me because as many of you know..I try VERY hard to be the dream wife for my husband. I know...some of you will roll your eyes at that statement...but I do pretty much cater to his every want and need. I am willing to be whatever he wants, whenever he wants if it makes his "dreams come true." I just think that the more giving I am--the more giving he'll want to be in return--and even if not--it's the kind of servant attitude that Jesus would have me to have, I think. I am not saying I am his doormat...he treats me like the queen of the house...I'm just saying that when its all said and done, I want to be THAT perfect woman for him. I don't want him to have any reason to look at another woman...or wish he had something else. So.....that is why there is a big kink in my thinking right now. I am devoting so much of my time and energy to being a tough, work-a-holic, work-out woman---picture Betty Crocker meets Wonder Woman. I think I am at my sexiest when I am in a sports bra and gym shorts, hair in a pony tail, muscles bulging doing squats or chin-ups or push-ups. I think Matt may actually be disgusted by it. !!!!! Not by the fact that I am working out...but how I look at that moment.
Obviously, it's Monday and this conversation was on Friday and I am STILL mulling it over in my head. Maybe I should focus more on looking good and being thin? Of course, I am not doing all this JUST for him...it is for me and my kids and my well being. But if he doesn't even care...?
I don't know...my head feels foggy and I can't make sense of all these thoughts. Anyone want to offer any clarity?
I just can't believe he doesn't give a care one way or the other if I ever work out another day in my life!!!
And--I think he'd rather me be more of a sissy-girl than a do-it-myselfer too!
Maybe I should go buy a new cutsie wardrobe and get my nails done and go to the Mac counter at Dillards and buy a whole line of good makeup!?! Wonder what'd he think then? I could quit working out..and just start starving myself.....(ha ha..that's so dumb I can't believe I even just typed it).
Okay, I'm a mess. Bye for now!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

You'd be so proud...

of me! I took the kids to the new Micky-D's in town on Friday and I didn't steal a single straw! Hooray! :o)

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Happy Birthday Mom!

Saturday was my mom's 58th birthday. For some reason, her birthday is always one that seems to somehow get over-looked. We never do anything special for her birthday---and as a matter of fact, I can't really remember EVER celebrating her birthday other than just having a cake. So...this year, since my grandma is (still) with us (she's been very sick) and my aunt is down visiting, my dad was home and my brother and his family were in town, I decided to plan a party. We all got dressed up and went to ShoGun for dinner. I even took the kids to a babysitter's so it was just us adults! (VERY rare for Matt and I to get to do anything with my parents without the kids---since 99% of the time--THEY are the babysitter's).
We had a great dinner and made sure to get lots of pictures. My dad paid the whole bill which was GIGANTIC, so that was a big, unexpected treat for all of us! After that, everyone came back to my house for cake and my special banana pudding (my mom's favorite!) and she opened her gifts. It was a really special night for her I think. My dad, who is Mr. Macho and NEVER hardly EVER shows any kind of a soft side---was VERY emotional that night and could NOT stop talking about how wonderful my mom is and how lucky he is to have her and how he's so sad that he hasn't realized that all these years! Several times throughout the night I saw he had tears in his eyes. That would be a first for me...to see him cry. He is gruff and stern and serious and a manly-man. But I am SO glad to finally see this softer side of him! I knew it was in there! For the past several years, he has been working "away" meaning he's gone for weeks at a time and I think it's really beginning to hit him now--how special family is and how priceless the time we get to spend with each other is. Hallelujah!!
Anyway, here are some pics of our fun night out! This one is of the whole gang:
L-R: Chantel, my dad, me, matt, my mom, my grandma, my aunt, my SIL and my brother.
Me and my hubby---happy to be with all adults!! :o)My mom and dad--looking happy and in love even after all these years! (30 yrs. of marriage!)My brother and his wife. Some of my favorite people in the whole world. This is the brother who drew my butterfuly tattoo for me!
Mom blowing out her candles and opening her presents!

Friday, August 01, 2008

This is the last STRAW!

Well, I've been keeping a secret from you all. It's been going on now for...oh...probably a good year or so and up until this point, I've kept it hidden from everyone but my immediate family...but now that the kids are older and they are starting to notice...and lately I've even had them be my little accomplices...I figure I'll just spill the beans. I steal straws.
Yep, you read that right. I do. I steal straws. Only the big fat ones though. My favorite places are Braums, Sonic and McDonalds because they have the biggest ones. You can't buy nice big ones at the store...so my only option is to take them, a couple at a time, every time I eat out.
Here's what I do:
When I get our tray of food, I usually grab enough straws for everyone in the family plus 2 or 3. I stick the extras in my purse. Then I'll go up and get some napkins and take another 1 or 2. A little while later, I'll have the kids go get some more ketchup and I'll holler "Grab a straw while you're up there." Usually I end up leaving with 5-7 in my purse. My record though was 14 a couple of weeks ago. I can't decide if this is "BAD" or not. I mean, the places really don't care. It's not like I am taking 30 or something. Plus, I make smoothies and shakes for us at home all the time and the skinny little straws you can buy at the store SUCK when you're trying to drink something thick through them. I would be MORE than happy to pay for these straws...but really...I doubt they'd let me. It started out as something I'd do as an honest mistake. Kind of like when you grab a few too many ketchup packets out of the bin or a couple extra napkins. Where most people probably throw that kind of stuff away, I've always put it in my purse and just taken it home. I never thought of it as stealing since it would have gotten thrown away anyway. Now, here lately though, since I am intentionally taking the straws, I feel kind of guilty. I mean, when you have to look around the restrurant before you take them and then slip them into your purse as FAST AS YOU CAN and then hope that no-one saw you.....doesn't that probably mean you think you're doing something bad?
Here is another way I justify it: As a kid, we would always go out to eat after church services with our friends. The adults would sit and talk for hours while us kids did mischevious things like dump out all the salt and pepper into the ketchup and mix it up and we would also use TONS of straws to play with. We'd first pull off one end of the paper and then blow the rest at our friends face...then we'd take the straw and wind each end of it around one of our fingers and then have our friend flick it in the center and hear the loud pop noise as the straw "pops". I bet we went through 30 straws sometimes!!! No one ever said a word to us about this.
(of course, now that I am a parent, I would NEVER let my kids do stuff like this and I can't BELIEVE my parents allowed it!!)
Anyway, what do ya'll think? Is it bad? I mean, I really try to only get a few, 5 or so, each time. The time I got 14 was kind of an accident because Grant grabbed a big handful and rather than take them back, I just took them.
The kids have asked me why I like to take straws and I just tell them "Well, I like to have a few extra's just in case we need one at home." They seemed to think that was a very sufficient answer and haven't asked anything else.
I really don't think I'm "stealing" but maybe I am...????