I think there are many different views on the subject of being "spoiled". Of course, it could mean something that was once good, has gone bad (food). It could mean that an undeservng person is getting "too many" blessings. It could be referring to an attitude of ungratefulness.
In terms of children, what would you say the definition of "spoiled" is?
Is it taking them anywhere they want to go? Is it buying them anything they ask for? Is it giving them your undivided time and attention? Is it reflected in the way they talk? the way they act? in their attitude?
I appreciate your feedback on this....as I am trying to determine if I am really, truly raising myself a couple of spoiled rotten kids...or if the person who said that just didn't know what they were talking about.
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4 comments:
I have not thought much about it and I'm sure if I did, I'd have a much better answer...but sometimes the things that come off the top of your head are the best and that's what this is....
I'd have to say that "spoiled" could entail many things but the one that stands out to me would be when the children begin to EXPECT certain things that would normally be considered EXTRAS. When that entitlement begins and they no longer even want to say "Thank You" because they feel that it is owed to them. That's spoiled.
Now, some of that is just kids being kids. ALL kids have some of that in them...thank you sin nature!...but when it's excessive or it just continues to grow and get worse. That's not good.
A good way to work it out of children would be to remove all of their EXTRAS for a week. Have them live with the bare minimum for one week. They'll make you think they are dying but they are not. LOL! And in that week spend time teaching them about children who don't have those extras. Take them to a soup kitchen or sometimes just a drive thru a "not so good" part of town to see people sleeping on benches or streets really shakes them. Get online and show them 3rd world countries. Have them pick 2 of their toys to donate to Goodwill or just a child they might know that doesn't have much. Adopting a "Compassion child" is another good way to keep that before their eyes.
I'm not saying your kids are spoiled...I've never even met them!...LOL!...I just think those are good lessons for EVERY child to learn and make a lifestyle. It cultivates a heart of gratitude and compassion inside of them.
I consider a child as "spoiled" when they have no respect for others. We have a young boy who goes to our church who is spoiled. I (the pastors wife) have told him to stop doing something and his reply was, "I don't have to." Believe me it was all I could do to walk away without doing him bodily harm!
Debbie (Kandy's Mom)
well as with teresa i agree. just in speaking of my own family and experience we began to notice in our children how they began acting a few weeks back. they weren't appreciative to anything and their attitudes were ungrateful and demanding. we finally sat down with all of them esp. alex and elijah and had a talk with them. so now in the mornings, a timer is set and if the chores, getting ready for the day etc is not done within that time limit, a privledge is taken away. things that used to be "expected" or that we got lax on during the summer. for ex: tv, playing the wii, going to friends houses, stuff like that. we have also had to buckle down in the manner dept as well. our children were being rude selfish brats!!! so with a lot of patience and time it is working. they are now being more mindful of their actions, words and realize they are going to be held acountable. i hope that makes sense......
t
my husband and i have talked about this very thing recently!
i would have to agree with teresa!
i have witnessed what i feel is first hand spoiled kids that have grown into adults and that is how they act. they EXPECT it and so their are no *thank you's* in sight.
I have often wondered if my kids are spoiled b/c we have had the tremondous blessing of giving them almost anything they request but with moderation of course.
based on this spoiled notion we are actually considering this christmas to just give each child 3gifts each instead of the *load* they received last year. with the explanation of Jesus received 3 gifts so that is what you will receive from us. of course this is taking more thought then just that simple but you understand.
i have also began to instill in them that if they want something then we have to get rid of something in their room. along with they have a money jar and when she wants something from the store then she brings her money for her 2 and 3$ items. we feel it teaches them the value of money and respect for their purchase if they had to use their hard earned cash to get it!
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