II Chronicles 7:14

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Don't Tell Me What To Do!

This is Grant's new favorite thing to say. He says it ANYtime you talk to him. It's SO frustrating. I end up in a full-fledge argument with a 2-year-old! It goes something like this, "Grant, don't hit your sister." He says, "Don't tell me what to do!" I say, "Yes I will tell you what to do. I am your mommy!" He says, "No it's not. Don't tell me what to do." and on and on...ARGH! I don't know what to do!!? The last day or two I have been threatening to spank him if he says it more than once. He usually says "I'm sorry" so he can get out of the spanking...but then seconds later..he's saying it again! Speaking of spanking...did you guys hear that they are trying to pass a law in California that says it's illegal to spank your kids? Oh BOY! They better just take me to jail now! I'm not saying that I beat them or spank them all the time...but there are definitely times that NOTHING gets their attention like Mr. Buster. (that's the name of our paddle! ha ha) We reserve it for when they've been especially naughty..but here lately that has been a lot more often, especially with Grant. He is just a little over 2 1/2 now and I guess he's going through that "testing" phase where he wants to see if we are really serious or not. It's just hard to know when he's just being two and when he's being disobedient and deserves punishment, you know? Anyway, if any of you have any suggestions...feel free!


Logzie said...

My suggestion would be to take the Karen Jensen Parenting Class at Rhema if they are still offering it. It's awesome.

I would say to get more consistant with spanking. It works. If the child knows there will definately be a consequence, eventually they will learn but if they know that only sometimes there is a consequence then they will probably just take their chances and that exactly what is causing you a problem. Dr. Dobson says to only spank when there is "outright disobedience" and that is the rule we follow. E-mail me if you want to chat about all of this, I have a few more good ideas that I do here at my house too.

I hope things get better for you!

Amos said...

You are not alone. Ryan is in the same "stage". And yes, it is just a stage and will pass. If Ryan backtalks like that or says the same words, we flick him in the mouth. I think you know what that means. It just gives a little sting on the cheek to remind them that their mouth doesn't need to talk to us like that. He crys and stops most everytime. If not, he gets a spanking with it too and then he is usually done. It's a hard job being a parent!

KC said...

Hang in there girlfriend. We have always followed through with spanking (If we tell them they are going to get one, they get one, no threats). It has worked. Both of our boys are very good. Yes they have their moments, afterall they are just children.

But we had a get together last weekend with a bunch of friends and their kids. There was a little boy there who is about 5 months older than Seth, and he was a holy terror! It made us not even want him to be around our kids. He back talked, threw screaming fits, etc. His Dad tried to discipline him, but his Mother babied him (protecting him from his Daddy giving him a spanking) and just laughed it off. Hum, wonder why he acts this way? Because he knows he can get away with it! Even Levi said he wouldn't leave Seth alone with that "ugly kid" because he kept stealing toys from Seth, and Levi was trying to protect his baby brother.

As far as the possible law against spanking in California. I did hear that on the news. What is our world coming to? Now they want everyone's kids to act like those that have no discipline? No thank you! Eveyone I know around here, who has well behaved, respectful children, believe in spanking. (Not Beating; Spanking. There is a HUGE difference!)

This is such a big topic, I could go on and on and on....haha
Love ya Jen,

Domestic Diva said...

Yep, attended the parenting class with Karen Jensen. It was awesome. KC was right when she said to follow through. Sometimes if my boys act up when we are out, and they are going to get a spanking when we get home...I don't feel like it anymore for whatever reason...but we do it anyway...hard...but it works. Hope all will get better soon!

Anonymous said...

At the risk of sound 'overly spiritual', I would suggest to pray, and ask God to show you how to deal with it. I have tried stuff with my kids, and generally we have some guidelines that we follow( I will tell you about them after this), but every child is different, and sometimes we need to deal with the heart of the matter, and not just the offense. The Holy Spirit knows out kids hearts, and can tell us exactly what to do in these situations. I have gotten so many answers this way.
Generally,I have found that with my kids, when they don't obey the first time...they get a spank. First time obedience. That way, you don't get frustrated, and end up being angry when you spank, and the kids know that you mean business the FIRST time you say something, instead of when you are yelling it for the 10th time. I agree with Logzie that consistency is the best, but also the hardest sometimes because some days, you are just too tired, or you just don't feel like disciplining them AGAIN(for the 100th time that day!)

You are not alone, and we all have to deal with this stuff on a daily basis. Will be praying for you.

Anonymous said...

All I can say is I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. Logan has been saying the exact thing for the past few weeks. Since they both started saying the same thing at the same time, do you think maybe someone in their class came to school saying that? Just curious since they're both doing it. Who knows, but I agree that it drives me crazy! Thank goodness Logan isn't doing it as much, but we're also done time outs, spanking, etc. We're just trying different things to see what works best. Time out is actually working pretty well - he does NOT like having to sit still - especially not when he HAS to. Anyway, no real suggestions, just wanted you to know that we're right there with you. :)