II Chronicles 7:14

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Daddy's Little Girl

While I was in the shower today (having my daily prayer time), I was talking to God about my relationship with Matt and how desperately I seem to need his approval. For some reason, I have never felt quite "good enough" for him and I am always looking for ways to be "the perfect wife." I never want him to be able to look back and say, "If only she had been _______(a better cook, a better mom, a better housekeeper, more attractive, more tom-boyish, more fun and on and on)_______." And while I do think it is important to desire to make your spouse happy and to "make all their dreams come true"....I am realizing that it is in God we have to find our approval. It's no major revelation...I've always known that deep down...but I think I am beginning to realize how BADLY I need to apply that to my life. If Matt's not happy...I'm miserable. I never want to upset him or hurt him or give him any reason to not trust or love me. But I can wear myself plum out trying to be his happiness and he still has bad days and gets irritated with me. That doesn't make him bad or at fault...that just makes him HUMAN! Only God will love me 100% unconditionally. I am His Princess! I am the apple of his eye. Just like my natural daddy on earth thinks the world of me....even SO MUCH MORE does my heavenly daddy think the world of me!
Think of your kids and how you sometimes wear your "rose colored glasses" where they are concerned...but when other peoples kids start throwing fits or acting sassy or being brats...off come the rosy glasses and they are just plain, downright IRRITATING. I'm not saying God doesn't see us as we really are...or that he is wearing "rose colored glasses" but he isn't out to get us...and he isn't trying to nit-pick at all our little imperfections (like humans do).
Anyway, I feel like I am kind of going in a hundred different directions with this post...but what I am really trying to say is PRAISE THE LORD that we don't have to earn God's love and mercy. We don't have to "measure up" to get him to be in love with us...He already is and always will be! HOORAY! Looking to any man (even our husbands) to meet every need we have (especially emotionally) will always leave us wanting more...but God can meet every need beyond what we even comprehend!


Logzie said...

Amen Girl!!! I recently went to a women's conference at a friend's church and the topic was "Renewing Your Radiance". I had the most amazing time. They showered us with gifts and each gift had a verse attached to it about how we are God's princess and We look to Him and ARE radiant and how our worth and value comes from Him and how HE sees us! It was the most encouraging weekend for me as a woman.

P.S.-I think that Matt may even find you MORE attractive if you are just trying to be 'yourself' and not so much everything for him. Do you know what I mean? I don't want that to sound mean. I see your heart in what you wrote and I think that's awesome but sometimes I think guys find us more attractive when we are just confident in ourselves. :-)

Love ya Jen!