II Chronicles 7:14

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

sssNOOOOOOOOOOw days

Well, here we are again..no school. This is the 3rd day so far. My attempts at a "better day" were unfortunately very unsucessful yesterday. Today, I'm getting us out of the house. I don't care if I have to drive 5 mph the whole way and start brakeing 1/2 a mile before my stop---fine. I just can't stay here cooped up in this house with these kids for one more minute. Actually, I am enjoying being at home and could spend another week at home--BY MYSELF---but the kids are restless and bored and going from their normal-fighting and irritating to a level that is beyond tolerable.
Matt and I sat in bed last night and had a good, long talk about "stuff" and we know it's time to make some changes around here. We've known for quite some time...but neither of us has been very committed to it, so our feeble attempts just flop. The attitudes coming from our little redhead are just unacceptable and the bigger she gets---the bigger her attitude problem gets. I honestly don't think ANYONE (except me and Matt) have totally seen this side of her. I guess I should be grateful for that--just imagine if she acted this way towards others!!! But sometimes I feel like people don't realize how serious (bad) it is because they haven't seen "it."
Anyway what we realized last night is that this is going to take some SERIOUS committment, dedication and self-less-ness from us to accomplish. We need to look at it just as seriously as we viewed beginning P90X. It is going to have to be our FOCUS. When a discipline situation arises--everything is going to have to be put on hold during this time. Meaning, I will abandon my half-cooked dinner, stop the car, quit mid-way through my grocery shopping, hang up the phone even if the other person is in the middle of a story, get off the computer, etc....
We both realize that we are bad about just hollering threats from our seat on the couch or me from the computer, etc. When we are distracted by something we want to be doing, they get away with just about anything and everything. It's time for no more distractions. Nothing--absolutely nothing--is as important as this. This is their future. It will be determined by the choices we make right now, and what we commit to teaching them.
Eating habits, spiritual lives, tv habits, attitude problems, disrespect, hobbies/interests---these are all areas that need attention.
One thing that drives me crazy is that we built the whole upstairs suite so that they could have their own space--to play, be loud, be messy-whatever. And no one EVER goes up there. Ever. We haven't been up there since the day we cleaned it about 2 weeks ago! So, beginning today I am going to put a bed upstairs for them to start sleeping on. I honestly think if they are sleeping up there, they will become more comfortable with being up there--and will begin to actually play with their toys. No wonder they're bored all the time...nearly every toy they own is upstairs--where they don't/won't go!
I am also going to question Brooklyn about what kind of activity she is interested in and then I am going to enroll her in something. "nothing" is not an option. Because we live in the country and don't have neighbors really, she doesn't have any friends. She has "friends" at school, but no one she has gotten close enough with to have over for a playdate or anything (per her). She doesn't have ANY friends at church that she feels close with, which is SO sad to me. The only place she interacts with other children really is at school, then she comes home and has to amuse herself for the rest of the time. I think if she could be a part of something--a team or a group or a club--she would develop some closer relationships and also have something to focus on, and spend some of her time doing.
Spiritually, I have been a lazy example to her. I'd hate to hear what she thinks "being a Christian" means based off my example. Probably "volunteer all the time, listen to preaching and go to church" because basically that is all she sees me do for my spirit man. We do pray together every morning before school and I treasure that (and I know she does too). But she needs to KNOW (and see) that Christ is at the center of EVERYTHING in our home. HE is the reason we volunteer, listen to Christian music, monitor the tv and movies that come into our house, pray when someone is sick or gets in trouble, etc....
So..I'm sure this is all a lot for you to read..and take in. Probably pretty boring if you're not living in my house...but I like to get this all out on here sometimes, for myself...so I can look back and remember what I was thinking and planning-and see how far I've come.

I do have to share one little thing that happened yesterday that was enlightening and encouraging. The kids heard on tv that it was "opposite day" and somehow that provoked them to have us all change our roles. I was going to pretend to be Brooklyn. Grant would pretend to be Daddy. Brooklyn would pretend to be mommy.
When it got to her turn to display "mommy" for us...she said,
"oh honey, come here sweetie baby, let me give you a big wet sloppy kiss--oh, mmm-mmm I just love you SO much! Now come on everybody, let's exercise! Let's do P90x. Let's do some push ups. Oh look, we're eating green beans tonight. Yumm!! Let's have some carrots too!"
and then she proceeded to CRACK HERSELF (and all of us) UP!!
All I could think was 'hmmm...well at least I am 1)Loving 2)Fit 3)Eat healthy.' :o)

5 comments:

Kate said...

not boring at all. In fact I'm really inspired by your committment to your family. All those other things deserve to be 2nd on the list and your family (discipline included) deserves to be 1st. Aren't those long, deep conversations the best? I always leave them feeling so hopeful for the future and so connected to my husbad. I wish you all the best~

Chief Rock Chef said...

Role playing each other? Wow, that could be fun! Might see if we can give that a try over the holiday!

Discipline for kids is really important. I might well be preaching to the converted here, but in my experience one of the most important things is presenting a united front to the kids - no signs of differing views on rules, punishments etc.

Nice blog - I will be back.

Simmons Girlz said...

Looong talks are so wonderful aren’t they? We just had one of those moments around here, filled with many of the same topics as you guys! I know for me, it seems like we go go go, we talk, we just don't really talk about the things that we need to; because, like you said, it would mean we would have change something... You two are great parents and all kids and parents have issues, it’s great that you two are committed to do something about it! I like what Pastor Hagin always says, I will not be defeated and I will not quit! (Just remember whatever we mess up as parents, that’s what therapy is for...Ha-ha)
I will say I feel the same about church and close friends as well as neighbors. Even though we lived in a neighborhood, things these days are just different than what they were when we were growing up. I played so much with my neighborhood friends. From the time I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, we rode our bikes everywhere. Now day’s kids just don’t have that freedom. It’s really sad, but it’s the truth! Cheerleading this year has been a great thing for Faith. It has really united her with some close friends at school in her class and in other classes. I think it has been a great investment! And I am so grateful for that. And what else I love about it is that we have had to spend a lot of time with the parents, so we have gotten to know the families are kids spend so much time with. It really makes us feel good about her doing things with those families! I am sure you and Brooklyn will come up with something that will interest her! And Grant too!
Happy NO school day!
Victory went back to school today so things are back to normal today..Whatever normal is! If you haven’t yet, you will have to read the blog of Normal!

Teresa said...

Well you asked me for my advice and after reading this...I think you are on the EXACT right track!!! I am so impressed with your attitude and commitment and to humble yourself to examine what you could possibly be doing wrong as a parent! That is fantastic and the necessary first step. I hate to say it (saying it to myself here too) but the way our children act can be directly traced right back to us and the things are are and arent' doing as parents.

You are very wise and need to give yourself more credit! I'll be brainstorming some ideas and I'll put it into an e-mail for you but girl...this post was awesome and I just know things will turn around in time. It does take time just as it took time to get into this position. You know that. But if you commit to making those changes...as hard as they might be...you will prevail!!

And no condemnation girl...we all need to make changes in parenting from time to time...you are just confident enough to admit it and you are helping people by being so honest!

Knot said...

I grew up outside of town and there were only a couple of kids in my neighborhood. School friends were it. I think kids need to have friends. It's hard when they live a ways away. Otherwise they get "virtual" friends through texting or chat. Not good.

Even if you are in a good church, you can still have issues. My oldest is now determined NOT to go to church. Why? Because of the new youth minister is not as good as the last one and makes a lot of mistakes. It works both ways, but I'm hacked that the new guy has severed so many relationships in such a short time.

Sounds like you guys are just going to have to crack the whip.

Knot