II Chronicles 7:14

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Friday, June 13, 2008

My random thoughts this morning...

Aren't we all in the same fight? Aren't we all in the same race? Don't all of us mothers/wives/women really want the same thing in the end? Why all the strife? Why all the dissention? Can we not find common ground and put aside our measly differences? Why are we so stubborn sometimes that it takes something like a tragedy for us to pull together? Life is too short to get hung up on the small, petty things. Life is precious, it is a gift. Relationships are priceless and we thrive on them.
I can't think of a single person who has ever done anything to me or said anything about me that was unforgivable. Besides, who am I to not forgive? If our Father can forgive us of anything, then surely we can forgive each other. Besides, He commands us to forgive. And FORGET. What good is forgiveness if it's rehashed at every corner? That's not forgiveness, that's manipulation.
I realize that I'm different from a lot of people in this area. Forgivenes is not hard for me. Actually, it's much harder and way more work to stay mad at someone and hold a grudge than it is for me to just put it behind me. In order for me to be mad (and stay mad) at someone, I have to be thinking about it--and quite frankly, I don't have time for that--and I have better things to do. Everyone has their "problems" or "issues". Some like it loud, some like it quiet. Some like it fast, some like it slow. Some like the phone, some like the internet. Some like Spongebob, some don't. Some like to be busy, some like to be relaxed. Some like to spank, some use time out. Some believe one way, some believe another.
But tell me this:
Is there ONE of us who doesn't want the best for her children?
Is there ONE of us who doesn't want to be a good wife and mother?
Is there ONE of us who doesn't want to be pleasing to our Heavenly Father?

Sure, we go about achieving these things in different ways, but we're all hoping to end up at the same place.
I urge you to consider the relationships in your life. Are your differences really that big?
I remember this girl I knew a few years ago. She was my age, had 2 small children and had been married for just a bit longer than me. She came to me and told me she was getting a divorce. Nothing horrible had happened, but she and her husband had decided they weren't in love anymore and they wanted to split.
I was stunned. I mean, I know people get divorced all the time...but this really hit home with me because she was basically living the same "life" I was. How can you, after 8 years of being with someone 24/7, just walk away? How do you say goodbye to the man who held your hand while you gave birth to your child? How do you just leave a man who has seen you at your worst? who knows all your quirks? who has loved you and been beside you through all your ups and downs?
How do you forget all of that? And how do you handle it when you see him with another woman? When you hear your child call her "mom"?
Beats me.
Maybe I am way more emotionally attached to my relationships than most. I don't know. But I don't understand how people who have shared some of lifes most intimate moments with someone can just turn and walk away because of a few petty differences. Sure, they may not feel petty at the moment...but in the big scheme of things--they are.

Anyway, I didn't write this to anyone or about anyone...so if you're sitting there thinking that I'm talking to you..I'm not. I'm actually just thinking, about many different situations--some in the lives of my friends, some in the lives of my family and some in my own life.
I just wanted to get these thoughts down on "paper" and maybe, somehow, they'll help us all take a closer, clearer look at what we might be walking away from...


mr zig said...

It's not just the Mothers/Wives and Women in the same fight... your post was awesome, and applies to many men as well.

Several times in your post I caught myself nodding in agreement saying "yeah!... YEAH!" -

I'm with you on the forgiveness thing... I have a hard time NOT forgiving.. I don't understand how people, and why people hold on to Grudges for so long! And Divorce? wow! Don't even get me started! Seems soooo ... sooo.. I dunno - foolish! - Anyway, perhaps it because we are Christians - and have experienced real forgiveness first hand from our Father that we can so easily forgive others? I dunno -

MLM said...

I'm reading a book called the Walk Away Woman, and so far, it totally rocks! Maybe you can check it out and see if it explains some things. I had read the author's other book The Worn Out Woman and it was good too. Just sharing!

tori said...

hey jen when you get a minute can you call me???


Anonymous said...

What you wrote was great! Although it only deals with the topic on the surface. Yes, unforgiveness is wrong and no way for a Christian to act. It's in no way a "witness" to the lost etc. etc. I could not agree more.

But...this topic is so much deeper than that. It's not always an unforgiveness issue, just because it looks that way on the outside. Many times there are people in your life that are not healthy for you anymore...people who are no longer building you up but rather tearing you down and therefore really shouldn't be there. God could very well be dealing with you about some of these relationships for whatever reason...some of which would not be appropriate to share with others. And to not obey Him in doing so is simply disobedience. Unfortunately, when this sort of situation happens, and God is telling you to "hold your peace" and let things fall but maintain your character and integrity in the midst of it...people on the outside don't always understand. It is the hardest thing in the world to "not defend yourself" and let things fall and allow people to make decisions that they will make and in the end you will see who is leftover...and who has managed to judge you based on your character and integrity and NOT on what other's would want you to believe about that person. Yet another reason we are told not to judge. There is no possible way for someone who is on the "outside" of the situation to know every detail of it.

There is a ton of "pressure" put on people in the Christian circles that if they are not friends with everybody then they must be walking in unforgiveness...but let everyone remember that it might not be the case. We are instructed in the Bible to stay away from gossip, strife and contention. This is one specific circumstance where it could be persceived as someone walking in UNforgiveness when in all actuality they are obeying God and His Word.

Just because someone held a special part in your life at one point in time in no ways mean you own them your friendship no matter how they treat you. Nor does it mean that the special time you had together was meaningless. People change...some for the good and some for the not so good and nobody is bound into a friendship no matter what the cost and to do so would be foolish.

You CAN still love someone, want the very best for them, pray for them and yet maintain a distance from them if that is what you feel God is having you to do.

Anonymous said...

I only am just now beginning to read your joneses thread, I been so caught up in your P90X thread. What an awesome thought Jen! And even more to voice on Paper...I only wished I lived closer to Oklahoma I think you would make a great friend even though we are 16 years difference in age. What is age. You have some great words and thoughts. Ü