II Chronicles 7:14

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

2 only children

I am the mother of 2 "only children." I swear....both of my kids were meant to be the "only child". They fight incessantly. Today has been especially trying.
Grant is at this age. Numerically speaking, it's FOUR. Emotionally, mentally he is at the age where he transforms from baby to child. Of course, he hasn't been a "baby" for quite a while, but he is now becoming more independent (wiping his own butt, learning to dress himself, think for himself, etc.) He is also testing the waters of discipline. He's proving (or disproving) us.
It's wearing me out.
I remember Brooklyn at four. It was the same thing then. I think four must be "that" age. Have you guys noticed that four is particularly difficult?
What's crazy is, if my kids are alone (meaning not together) they are both SO MUCH MORE enjoyable. EVERY single time we split them up and Matt takes one for the day and I take one for the day, we end up saying how GOOD our kid was. We almost argue about which kid was better! Then we get them together and all you-know-what breaks loose. I know some of you probably think I'm exaggerating, but I assure you...I can't emphasize enough how CONSTANT their bickering really is. Some of you have witnessed it, so you know. Literally, I would say they get along 10% of the time. The other 90% is spent either sleeping, crying or fighting with one another.
I keep thinking that they're gonna get a little bit older and become friends...but I'm beginning to wonder.
We joke sometimes that we ought to move one of them in with my mom and just take turns having each kid. We could get them together for play dates every once in a while. ha ha
On a different note...similar subject: We are raising some terribly ungrateful children, I'm sad to say.
This is just one example: Tonight Matt and I took them to a movie (Nim's Island) and then out to eat at the resturant of their choice, which happened to be the Elephant Bar. They got to order whatever they wanted and lucky for them, their meals came with a hot fudge sundae AND a soft drink---2 things we don't typically buy when we eat out. While we were eating they spotted Toys-R-Us across the street..and from that moment on it was "Can we go to Toys-R-Us?" over and over and over. When we had answered them 15 times each and were starting to get REALLY mad, they started saying how mean we are.
Boy, I wish someone would be so mean to me! ha ha
The other night I took them out to fly a kite-something we very rarely do. Afterwards, I was really ready to go in, but they were begging to play basketball so I said okay. Brooklyn took her shot, then Grant shot, then it was supposed to be my turn...but no---Grant didn't want to let me have the ball so he picked up a rock from our driveway and threw it at me. It hit my ankle bone which hurt like HECK. I got upset and said we were going in--no basketball. Oh boy...for the next half hour I had to hear (from Grant) how I was so mean, how he doesn't like me, how I am not nice, how it's no fair, blah, blah, blah. I know he doesn't understand..but I just wanted to scream at him: I did kites with you! I tried to play basketball with you! I didn't get to even take one shot with the ball and you threw a rock at me! I'm sitting here in pain and YOU'RE the one crying! AUGH!!!!
Anyway, I know that it's gonna be all okay and before long we'll be onto the next speed-bump in life..but for right now...I REALLY want a vacation from short people. 24 hours---I think that'd do. hmmm......


Jenelle said...

Girl, I am sorry that you are dealing with these challenges. Stay strong and demand that your children give you respect. It's one of the greatest gifts you can give them and yourself. Teach them that you are worth being respected and so are they.

Unknown said...

Hey MJ, I understand the bickering. My 2 oldest are about the same ages as yours 8 & 4. Since school has been out there has been a lot more of that bickering going on. I've been asking God for wisdom... some chart, or incentive plan I can do with them to encourage them to be kind to each other. Thankfully he does give us wisdom and we will make it thru this season... we are constantly training them aren't we ;)

Kate said...

Yikes, the natives sound restless! Stay strong Jen - you are the parent and the one in control. Hang in there! They will be the better for it when they are young adults and are then responsible for themselves. Your disicpline is one of the greatest gitfs you could ever give them - it shows them your undying love for them.

Logzie said...

Parenting is hardwork!! I've vented to you many times so you know I understand.

I think your other commentors said it so well...that enforcing that discipline on them and demanding that due respect is a wonderful gift you give to them.

Think about getting this book..."Parenting with Love and Logic". I'm reading it and it's pretty awesome~!

Hang in there...you are a great Mom MJ!!

Tammy said...

I sure do appreciate your honesty on here! My kids don't really bicker much (they're 4 1/2 years apart) and we've actually been surprised by how well Mason plays with her despite the age difference. But I can totally relate to the 'being grateful' thing. Its something we work really, REALLY hard at instilling in them. Hang in there - the good days will outweigh the bad ones! And when you take that 24-vacation - let me know where you're going, would ya? I could use an escape too :)

Sol said...

Hi there again, thanks for passing by my blog and leaving a message. I've not been blogging that long so was looking around to see peoples style.

It is hard to say, but I think you are trying really hard, with your children. Going along the Nanny 911, way, got to love Jo Jo! LOL I think reward charts are a good idea.

My friend puts marbles in a jar, on the top of the fridge. When the jar is full they decide as a family where to go on a day out. Good behaviour = a marble. Bad behaviour = marbles taken away. She has said this works.

I think it is great that you tell it how it is. I will pop by periodically to see what is going on with you. If that is ok.

Keep going, everyone has been there, if, they have children. My Mum says "to appreciate the perfect times, to see it as the best times, you have to have endured bad times. Else you have no comparison".

Have a great day all.

Feel free to drop by and leave comments!!! Nice ones obviously!!!

Beverly said...

Girl I really think you have my kids, sure sounds like it anyway. It has really gotten bad since school got out and they are together all day.

If it helps any at all I'm sure they will like each other as adults. My sister and I never got along until I moved out and got married, something changed then and we realized how important the other one was to us. She is now my best friend.

Things will get better just stay stern with them. I have to with our boys or they would walk all over us.

Anonymous said...

Ben here, I don't read blogs very much, but I can relate. Logan and Ryan are the same. I caught one of the boys talking to Amy one day like that and I reminded them that she was my wife, not just their mother, and that they would not talk to my wife like that, and then I spanked them. I think when children go through phases when they are testing one parent more than the other it is very important for the other parent to speak up for each other in front of the kids and mom. I was even mad when you said that grant threw a rock and said those things to you. If one of my boys did that to Amy, she would have called me and let me scold them over the phone and then make them stay in there room until I could deal with them. This gives them plenty of time to think about how serious it was what he did. A couple of times Logan has said things like I am mean and I tell him I am your dad first and friend second.