II Chronicles 7:14

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Gettin' Spanked

This post is for those of you who DO choose to spank your kids. I have a question (or 3):
Do you spank in public in front of other people?
Do you spank while you're mad?
Do you use your hand?

For those of you who DO NOT choose to spank your kids. I have a question:
When your child is running through the store and yelling "You can't catch me!" and running into things and people and you're chasing after them, sweating like a hog, swiping your hand through the air everytime you think you are close enough to catch them only to see them take off down the isle again, just what EXACTLY do you do to them when you finally DO catch them?


Shanita Waters said...

You know... I've always wondered the same thing. I, for one think it's okay to spank your child in an instance where they are misbehaving in public. If they can act out in public - they can get whipped in public-but that's just me. We also have to wisdom and remember there is a time and a place for all things.

Logzie said...

I whole heartedly believe in "spanking".

I never spank in public...for many reasons...
1-I don't spank my children in front of other people to preserve their dignity. I believe it's a private thing between the child and parent so you can discuss the "offense" and talk about what choice the child should have made instead--if they don't know, they will probably repeat it. It's a good time to bring up the spirituality of the matter as well like reminding them or asking them how they think Jesus would have handled the exact same situation...fruits of the spirit etc. Then of course the HUG at the end so they understand that the spanking is simply a consequence and not a way for the parent to take out some anger or frusteration. And when it's done...it's done. There's no emotional manipulation being done by the parent by acting mad at them afterwords. That's not teaching forgiveness, God throw's our sins as far as the East is from the West and we are to parent as God parents us and be an example. Besides that if we bring it to an emotional realm and act angry with our children after a spanking, it will only teach our children to "not do something naughty" simply because it makes Mommy mad and NOT because it's inappropriate behaviour. Thus making them only able to make "what appears to be the right choice" only when Mommy is around.

My goal is to NEVER spank in anger but in all honesty...it happens sometimes. That's when I have failed them and owe them an apology. The fact is when we spank in anger...there is no teaching or learning going on...therefore no change of heart...only bound up resentment from the child b/c they do know. But more importantly when a parent does spank in anger...they are doing nothing but taking our their frusterations on their own child!! Get a punching bag...don't use your child! I know those are strong words, but it's THAT important! That's were spanking get it's bad rap b/c too many people have seen other parents out of control and spanking out of anger...that's when spanking is wrong...and the only time IMO.

I also realize there are many people who beleive that spanking your child only teaches them to "hit" but I don't believe that to be true one bit...UNLESS you are a parent who spanks in anger! Then YES.

Spanking can be and should be a loving experience between a parent and their child where they are calmly talking to the child and "teaching" them and then the child experiencing a consequense for their poor behaviour and finally ending in a good embrace.

Hopefully is someone is spanking in this manner...there won't be too many times when the child is running thru the store as you described BUT because it might still happen...the correct thing to do...as hard and inconvenient as it may be...is to abandon the grocery cart and take the child out to your van and do the above process. Then return to the store. This is where parenting sucks!! LOL!!

I think I answered all the questions you asked.

(**I warned you my comments might get longer! LOL!!)

Sol said...

We were smacked/spanked as children and it never did us any harm. I certainly didnt do what ever it was again.

Logzie said...

P.S.-I use a wooden spoon...we call it a paddle.

Another tip is to make a chart that lists potential offenses...a verse that explains why it's wrong and then a consequense...like a spanking or loss of privledge/asking for forgiveness or extra work. I found one of those charts a while back and it has been incredible how much the kids actually hold me accountable to it. The chart is handing out the consequence and not ME!! I am only the administrator. I love it! If you want the verses and such I'd be happy to e-mail them to you. Let me know.

Love you girl!!

Shanita Waters said...

please e-mail me the verses. I like that- "an administrator". lol

Shanita Waters said...

In response to Logziella's wonderful comment, be sure there are no cameras around. Remember what happend to the last woman to spank her child in a parking lot. lol
(I believe in spanking and in public if the offence is bad enough to warrant on the spot chastisement)

Unknown said...

MJ, I think Logziella put it very well. I never spank in public. Partly out of respect to my children, and partly b/c of the way much of the world seems to view it.

It might be helpful if you set the expectations before going to the store if you know there might be some behavioral issues. Make it plain how you expect them to behave and then follow thru when you are at the store.

Don't be afraid to up and leave the store with your kids if they test the boundaries. It might be an inconvenience to you to not get to finish your shopping, but it will show the children that you mean business. Then, if you feel a spanking is necessary, wait until you are in the van with the doors closed.

Also, on the positive side, you could offer a reward for good behavior at the store. Not to be used as a bribe, but rather as a reinforcer of their good behavior.

Also, I don't spank with my hand in order to set the difference between the paddle and my loving arms. And ditto, ditto on the other stuff Logzie said.

Jenelle said...

Logziella said most of what I would recommend. Spanking in public also puts you on as a show, worrying about what other people think/are watching. In private, it is just between you. I try not to spank in front of the other child as well. That can't always happen, but I try.

I personally use a hand because of convenience. Can't lose a part of your body. I also have bad memories of paddles & punishment that came from anger. Because of that background I try not to deal with issues while angry, but that is a concious struggle for me.