II Chronicles 7:14

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Man, I must be full of crap...

cuz according to the scale at the Omniplex Science Museum yesterday, I have gained 10 pounds since I last weighed!!!!! AUGH!!!!! All I can figure is that I am severely constipated and that if my body worked right....I would poop often enough to keep this from happening. Seriously guys....and I know this is gross and disgusting and WAYYY too much info....but how many of you suffer from the once-a-week-dump issue? Cuz I sure do and LOTS of people I know do too. All women. What's up with that? My husband and most men I've ever met (and discussed this with) all poop AT LEAST daily....if not more like 2-3 times a day! Jeepers! If I went that much...I'd be who-knows-how-many pounds thinner! Think about it...it's basic math right? 3 meals in a day x 7 days equals (a minimum of) 21 meals a week. Now if you pooped 2-3 times day...that would even out just fine...but if you only poop ONCE....that is way off balance cuz there is no way you can poop out 21 meals worth of "garbage" in one sitting.
Now I have tried to fix this problem....I have taken pills, eaten more raisens and stuff like that. I've tried drinking more water, jumping up and down and even just making myself sit on the dang pot even if I don't have to go to try to "train my body" (according to my dad...that's the key). Nothing helps. At one point, I was eating an oatmeal raisen cookie every morning and sure enough..I'd go every day about an hour later...but that only worked for about a month and then I quit going and just started gaining weight from all the cookies! ha ha
Anyhow....this revelation of my weight gain is just disgusting and I am not going to just sit back and let more creep on. I figure since this is beginning of a new season of Biggest Loser on NBC...then I might as well just get on the weight-loss bandwagon with them and see what I can do when I put my mind to it. Now I have more like 30 pounds to lose instead of the 20 that I've been talking about for the past year. BUMMER!
Anyway, sorry for such a nasty post...but that's what's been on my mind this morning.
Of course, I have LOTS of pictures and stories to tell you about our little mini-vacation but I'll have to save that for later when I have more time!


Logzie said...

Try making bran muffins or eating a cereal like Fiber One.

I don't suffer from that issue...I pretty much dump daily. HA!

But I am sure those things will help. The reason those cookies stopped working is probably b/c of the sugar in them...sugar constipates.


Domestic Diva said...

Have you tried prunes? What about Metamucil? My dad had that problem, me I go 2x's a day...sorry! But I will pray for you to go...daily.

For about a month now, I have stopped buying pop at the grocery store and I have lost 8 lbs...but I need to lose about 70 more... :(

Well, one thing CO has done for me, we are always outside hiking, biking and being a granola family!

I am excited to see you for xmas ;)

KC said...

Ok Jen, I have the same problem. I actually went to the Emergency room last year, because I was in severe pain!, only to find out it was because my bowels were "totally compacted". The doc said I would lose about 10 lbs after they got me all cleaned out. Sure enough! I went in at 127, and after they gave me this nasty stuff to drink and I got cleaned out, I was at 118! Wowsers! He said he is used to seeing this in older people who aren't active, and never could figure out why an active young woman would have this problem.

So after that I started eating Fiber One Honey Cluster Cereal. The doc also has me taking a "daily" stool softener (not laxative, just softener). Then I have to drink at least 10 glasses of water a day, and try to eat plenty of fiber and fruits (with the skin!). And try not to eat to many "processed" or junk foods.

It has helped a lot....but if we go on vacation, or just away from home overnight, I have to take Phillips Laxatives with me, or else I wont go the ENTIRE time we are gone (like when we go camping).

So know that you are not alone. I suffer to, and have my entire life. It is better, but I will never be as regular as my husband. I think it is hereditary. My Mom suffers from this, and so does my oldest son. I am always pumping him full of apple juice to help him go.

Amos said...

I always knew you were full of something.... no, no, just kidding. You are far too funny my friend. There are a lot of suggestions here, and the one that came to my mind is going to Lori Medford, the nutritionist. Her visit costs about $100 but she totally works everything out to your body and blood type, etc. Her website is www.lifedesignnutrition.com. She came to Grace a few years back. She is awesome. I have never been there myself but have tons of people that tell me she has helped them soooo much. She is a Christian too.

Unknown said...

Hey MJ, I am one of those clock work people, every morning about 15 minutes after I get out of bed. But one of my daughters has had what the dr called slow bowel syndrome. She has been prescribed in the past a powder medicine to mix in water called Miralax. It's supposed to help concentrate the water in her body to her poop. Anyway, lots of good ideas, fiber being the best!

Beverly said...

OK, I have a major problem with this and after your post last week I actually ended up at the surgeons office and he gave me 2 days to get better on my own or it was off to the OR. OK working mom with 2 jobs that is so busy who can't afford surgery at this point nor does she want to take the time off or the pain of having it done. So anyway I am now taking colace 2 capsules 2x daily to make things more regular. You can get it at Wal-Mart over the counter, I actually buy the Wal-Mart brand becuase it is a fraction of the cost. But I was doing some research on this and saw where some people have up to 65 pounds of crap in thier colon at times. Could you imagine! Now if I could just get that to move along faster I could get this weight off faster and be doing real good.