Why is it that a word you hear all the time sounds fine when anyone says it EXCEPT when you hear your 3 year old say it?
Lately, Grant has taken a liking to the movie The Little Rascals. We bought that movie back when Brooklyn was littler (4 ish) and she just loved it. She watched it over and over. Now Grant has decided he likes it and has watched it several times recently. However, our DVD player downstairs isn't working...so when he watches...he watches it upstairs. (out of our hearing distance) Well, lately he's been calling everyone around here (in our house) "jerk" and "freak". Well, naturally, I was apalled at this kind of language. I mean, the work "jerk" isn't that big of a deal normally...but when my little 3-year-old walks over and calls me it....then it becomes a big deal---and sounds awful! Eventually (30 "jerks" and "freaks" later), Matt and I realized that they say those words on that movie. The problem is....he LOVES to say these words. Mostly to his sister because it makes her SO MAD when he calles her that and what could be better than making your big sister STEAMING MAD? (insert big sigh here with a roll of the eyes) I have spanked, threatened and given time outs for him saying these words but it just seems like it's worth it to him to take the punishment for the satisfaction he gets from making his sister that upset. What a crooked thing....to get that much joy out of someone else's anguish. And they are both that way. I've gotten to where I'll watch Brooklyn's face out of the corner of my eye when Grant is getting in trouble and she is as HAPPY and GIDDY as can be that he's being disciplined. Maybe that is what "sibling rivalry" is all about....!?! I never had a brother or sister around when I was growing up. (my 4 siblings were 10+ years older than me). I grew up pretty much surrounded by respectful adults...and would have NEVER even thought of talking like my kids do.
Anyway, one more gripe in the way of words......I noticed the other day that Nickolodian has a commercial out right now about parents talking to their kids about sex. It says the word "sex" about 5 times. Now Brooklyn LOVES to say "sex". I asked her what she thinks that word means and she said "when you kiss with your clothes off". Hmmm....not too far from the truth...but really....do I have to be having this talk with her ALREADY? She's only SIX for crying out loud. I just don't understand why kids channels want to put such OBVIOUS commercials out there. I've heard her say her barbies were having "sex" now and also when we were watching a tv show the other day and the wife walked out of the bedroom buttoning up her shirt...Brooklyn said "They were probably in there having sex". Now that REALLY sounds weird coming out a 6 year olds mouth.
Am I over reacting or is this crazy? How do I teach them that certain words are inappropriate to say even though they aren't curse words???
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3 comments:
Oh Wow, that's a tough one Jen! I haven't gone through this yet, so I don't know what to tell you.
If our boys say something bad, (like calling each other names...they haven't picked up any "BAD" words yet), Stephen looks at them and says "We DO NOT say that. Do you understand?" and they say "yes sir" and that's the end of it.
As far as the sex goes, 6 is extremely young, to be knowing so much. I was around 9 when I was driving my mom nuts, asking what maxi pads were (every time they were advertised on TV..*again, TV was the culprit, maybe we just shouldn't watch it at all, it would save us a lot of headaches). So finally she sat me down and tried to explain it all to me. I got grossed out and said "I'm never getting married then, that's GROSS!" :) Boy does your perspective change when you get older, fall in love, and get married!
Yah I agree...this is a tough question. I would say that you need to "lay down the law" so to speak and tell them that everytime that "word" (jerk, freak, sex) is said they will have a consequence like 15 minute time out in their room or whatever works for them...then your job is to make sure that each and everytime they do it, you follow thru. I have found consistency to cure any problem with kiddos. UNfortunately, that is more of a hard job for you than them but that is what it takes.
I would certainly monitor what they watch on TV as well. There are far too many shows on Nick that come across as harmless for our kids but are anything but. There are so many shows targeted toward young girls Brooklyn's age that don't seem BAD but do have content that is far ABOVE what their maturity of their age can handle. Those are the worse to me as they seem so harmless!
I cannot believe that Brooklyn has that much info on what sex really is...and you are not the one who told her!!! Wow!! You need to figure out how she came to that conclusion. Keep her innocent as much as you can. I would be stern and tell her that sex is for adults and so is 'talking' about sex and 'playing' sex with Barbies and anything else. Explain to her that it is a GIFT from God only for a husband and wife and when she is older she can look forward to it but for now it's off limits even to talk about.
That's my advice!...hope it helps some.
Hard one. I have always been sooo protective of what my kids see on tv. I think living in WI kind of made me feel like we are on the mission field and so I plodded along differently. When we had tv, which we don't now b/c it broke back in may, I kept the shows limited to "educational" like mr rogers and little einsteins. often pbs channel so no commercials during the show. then of course as they grew, we stocked up on dvds from the christan bookstores when we'd visit down south.
On the sex issue though, I did just have "the" talk with my 7 year old. I wanted her to hear it from me, so she'd know what it was supposed to be (as Logzie mentioned, a gift from God meant between husband and wife, yada yada). Anyway, I got a book from a series that Focus on the Family was promoting called God's Design for Sex. It is detailed, but from a christian viewpoint.
Not sure if that helps :)
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