II Chronicles 7:14

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

WOOHOO! The house has begun!...and FUNNY JOKES

It finally happened...they started on my house! I will get pictures tomorrow to prove it to you all! In the meantime, read these HILARIOUS jokes! (Please don't take offense...the language is questionable but they really are funny!)

A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself,"Two plus five, the son of a b**** is seven. Three plus six, the son of a b**** is nine..." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked."Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, the son of a b**** is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was,two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead."How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. You did WHAT ???" the teacher exlaimed in surprise. "You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut,eating a snack cake ... The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie." She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

When a woman steals your husband,there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!" Second guy remarks, "Darn you're lucky! Mine's still alive."

A Woman's Prayer
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand this man, to love and to forgive him, and for Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death.