II Chronicles 7:14

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Mom Definitions

You may have seen some of these before but I found them while I was moving and thought they were really cute. They're worth reading again and getting a little laugh out of!

Amnesia: The condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you are not raising them right.

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Ow: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.

Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

Top Bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.

and last but not least...here are a couple cute "kid" jokes:

I had been teaching my 3 year old daughter the Lord's Prayer for several evenings at bedtime. She would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end of the prayer. "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail."

A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their 6 year old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say" the girl replied. "Just say what you hear mommy say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"


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