Vent: You don't have to read...

Okay,
I'm going to vent here right now. I seriously feel like I need to get this all off my chest and to be honest, there is no one in my life (husband, mom, friends) who have time to actually listen to me ramble on and on about stupid stuff like this...so it's going on the blog. Whether or not anyone reads it...I don't know...but at least I can get it out.

#1: So today, in the middle of doing a MILLION things and being beyond busy, I run into town to pick up a last minute gift that we need to mail TODAY. I only have like 15 minutes to spare so I just run into our town's little drug store where they have pretty cute stuff. However...what I apparently failed to notice when I've browsed while waiting for prescriptions before is that their prices are RIDICULOUS! I'm talking about $30 for a picture frame, $45 for a pair of flip flops, $20 for a candle, $35 for a necklace. So I run across the street to a flower/gift shop. I'd never been in there before but they have NOTHING but flowers and candles so that's a no-go. I run to Atwoods thinking maybe I can find something-anything girlie there---nope. I stop at about 3 other stores and still leave with nothing. It's not that I can't find anything...it's that shopping on a "dave ramsey" budget is friggin' impossible!!! (I'm already back to using the credit card until the paycheck gets here because that is the only way we can LIVE.) But that isn't even my main gripe on this #1. It's this: I go into this one little gift shop and right off the bat I see all kinds of eye-candy. I'm like "oohhhh yay! maybe I will actually find something!" But 1 minute after I begin looking the lady working at the store comes over and starts TALKING MY EAR OFF. And for at least 30 minutes she BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH talked to me!!! I never did get to shop! By the time I'd been standing there (still in the entrance of the store) for 20 or so minutes, I was just sure there was smoke coming from my nostrils and ears. I was as mad at her for "wasting" my time as I was mad at myself for always being in such a DANG hurry that I can't even take 30 minutes of my day to talk to some nice old lady. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?????? It was like a battle in my head because one minute I said to myself "For goodness sake Jennifer, just take a second and talk to her. She's 70 years old and probably needs someone to listen to her jibber-jabber about mowing and her kids and her sore back, etc." and then 2 seconds later I would think "OH MY GOSH I am frickin' an HOUR BEHIND schedule and I can't even shop in this stupid store because this lady won't SHUT UP and let me look!!" AUGH!!!!!!!!!
In the end, I spent TWO HOURS looking for this gift that didn't exist. I wanted something cute and unique and FREE! Ha! I ended up getting something that was about a 2 on the cuteness scale and cost $5.99. What a waste of my afternoon.

#2: So, now here I am, trying to make up lost time this afternoon. I 'm having company for dinner, Grant has a baseball game tonight, I'm supposed to bring a dessert to the school tomorrow for Teacher Appreciation, my house is a mess, I haven't done my work for the doctors office yet and so I'm SCRAMBLING around like a total NUT screaming at the kids and racing through the house and all of a sudden I hear "DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG" at my front door. The kids immediately get excited...and I immediately get frustrated. I don't give a RIP who it is...they are INFRINGING ON MY TIME! So I answer the door and this lady is standing there and she says, "Hello, may I speak to your mother" to me. UH HELLO LADY BUT I AM NOT AN IDIOT---whatever you are selling, you can just take it back to your car because I am not buying anything these days and I FOR SURE am not buying something from someone who thinks they can "butter me up" by telling me I look like the "teenager of the house." Give me a buh-reak! So she wants to come in and clean my carpet. I politely as I can, tell her that NO I am not interested...and pretty much tell her everything that I just told you guys in the first sentence of this paragraph. To which she says "Oh...well, if you're having company this is perfect because now your carpet will be clean and your house will smell nice." I irritatedly tell her that I have about 3 hours worth of work to get done and I only have 1 hour to do it in and that THIS IS NOT A GOOD TIME!!!! (which I've said now at least 10 times!) THANK HEAVENS my mom happened to pull up at about that time and she started talking to her instead so I shut my door and went back in.
What part of "NO TRESPASSING" do people not understand. We didn't put that sign on our front gate for nothing!!!
Argh! And FURTHERMORE...now my kids want to know why I am mad and why I didn't let that lady come in and clean because she "was so nice to you mommy. She told you how pretty and young you are and wanted to come and clean for you and you weren't very nice back to her."
OHHH!!! MYYY!!! GOSHHH!! I just want to scream!!! Now I'm defending myself to my kids about why that lady was really just trying to say nice things (even if they weren't true) just so I would buy something from her. Oh whatever.

To prove to you how NUTSO I have actually gone, I got out the paddle to spank Brooklyn for locking me out of her room and then when she finally opened it she screamed " WHAT DO YOU WANT??"at me...but then when I told her I was going to spank her she started bawling and ran to her room and got a Mother's Day Card she had been making me. Okay so now I'm confused and frustrated and don't know whether to spank her or hug her so I grab up the paddle and start WHACKING THE FIRE out of the leather recliner. Yes...folks. This is me. I have LOST IT. If that recliner had been alive, I'd have surely killed that thing dead.

And now here I am...running more and more out of time and yet I'm blogging. I don't have time to even be THINKING about blogging but I had to do it because quite honestly, I feel like I am LOSING MY MIND.
This is not me. This is not who I am. I don't like it and I don't want any part of it. So why do I feel like I'm being swallowed up by it?

The budget/money thing feels like a thousand pounds on my shoulders. If I could just get rid of that one concern...I think things would be a lot easier to deal with.

Okay...well, if you read all that, God bless you. Anyone who has any advice is always welcome to give it! I appreciate input but I understand if you don't leave any either. Sometimes I just don't think there is any answer....