II Chronicles 7:14

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Friday, May 07, 2010

It's a sad day when you realize that you really don't like yourself.

What's worse is when you list out all the things that you are, stand for and spend time doing..and ...they all look good...but when you add them together, they equal a bad you. It doesn't make sense. I guess too much of a good thing isn't a good thing...!?!

One side of my head says "YOU'RE LOSING YOUR MIND" and the other side of my head says "YOU HAVE THE MIND OF CHRIST"...and they're both right.


Rock Chef said...

I don't get it - how can lots of good things become bad? Are you so busy with these things that you are neglecting other things?

Jen said...

Rock Chef, exactly. I am so busy doing a hundred (good) things that I am grouchy and impatient and losing the meaning behind what I'm doing. I mean, how nice is it that I am doing nice things for the kid's teachers at school but I've griped and complained about it the whole time and acted as though it's a humongous burden.
I know personally, if someone is going to do something nice for me but make me "pay for it" by listening to them whine and gripe about having to do it--then I'd rather just NOT HAVE IT. ya know?
I either need to get a better attitude about doing so much...or quit doing so much. :o)

I think the answer is balance. I need to do a little less...and in return, I will have a better attitude about the things that I do choose to do.

Teresa said...

Ya know...PMS will make you hate yourself too...could it be that...and no I'm not trying to be funny here...PMS is horrible and can make you feel aweful. Nonetheless my friend...I assure you that your heart is right...just tweak the workload and I bet you'll feel so much better. The world will still go on if you don't do 1/2 the stuff you are doing...take a "me break". I love you!!

Rock Chef said...

Teresa has the answer - it is all too easy to over-stretch yourself like that - cut a few things loose and have fun with what you keep!

Kate said...

life's too short Jen. maybe it's time to put some things, (of course not those 4 lovely people under your roof), but THINGS, aside. how do you want your kids and hubby to remember you? most importantly, the things that are adding to your stress - what's your reason behind doing them? you may have the best of intentions doing them, but maybe now is just not the time for them. are they even making you happy?

love you friend!

Kate said...

and i don't mean to sound righteous there. i'm sorry if i do. believe me, i let everything distract my attention and take hold of me until i think it's really going to add to my life if i jump in and take it on - leaving a little tiny piece of me left to give to my family. certainly not what they deserve. no mas! i still haven't showered today or folded the laundry but I do have a sweet little man here in my arms and he doesn't seem to mind :)

Rene' said...

I wrote something, then my computer froze and I lost it. hate it when that happens.
anyway, I think I said... I've felt like doing this same thing lately-writing down good and bad, problem is I don't really want to face it, so I'm just trying to change so that my 'bad' won't outweigh the good anymore and I won't feel crappy anymore. maybe we can work on this together and support each other :)

jenelle said...

it's a fine line between what is good and what is best. Allow the Spirit to lead. We've all been there. Our small group was talking about the blessing of struggle/conflict - that it exists to help us make wiser choices, love deeper, grow closer, depend completely. Who's strength are you doin all this good stuff in?

PRaying for you.

SugarberrySensations said...

my heart is just breaking for you!

You will have to learn to say no, otherwise all of these things you do for others will consume you - as you have already found out.
Since I started working (I was a stay at home Mom for 15 years), I have found that it is so much easier to say no. I know you feel guilt, if saying no when you stay at home, but don't Jen, please don't!

I wish I could just snap my fingers and give you a magic fix, but please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm ALWAYS just an email away!

Lots and Lots and Lotsa Love!