II Chronicles 7:14

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Love & Respect

I am reading this book that was given to me by my husband's grandmother a couple years ago. When I first got it I was so busy with little babies...I just put it aside and never really looked at it. However, a while back, I found it and started reading it and it is just SO good I HAD to share it with you all. I am completely convinced that every wife needs to read this book. It has opened my eyes in some really important areas. I have been underlining parts in the book that have really ministered to me and I thought I would share a couple of exerpts from it so you can see what I mean...

The main point that they refer to throughout the book is called The Crazy Cycle. It goes like this (imagine a circle) His love -- motivates --her respect --motivates --his love--and so on. If you've been to any marriage conferences or seminars, it is likely that you have heard something similar to this. This is not the "profound" information that I have learned from this book...but it is important to understand "The Crazy Cycle" and how it affects your life.

What I have learned from this book that has and will continue to change my marriage is that our commands from God to be a loving, respectful and submissive wife are not conditional on our husbands behavior!!! WOW! That means if your husband behaves in a way that makes you feel like he doesn't deserve your respect....He still does! Not because he has earned it..but because God commands us as wives to be respectful. Ephesians 5:33 does not say, "Husbands, love your wives unconditionally and wives respect your husbands only if they have earned it."
The wife must focus on God's command to her and not God's command to her husband.

"We know that a wife does not want to show unconditional respect, especially when her husband comes across unloving. Yet, Ephesians 5:33 and I Peter 3: 1, 2 are God's revelation. If a husband does not respond, the command of God is not invalidiated. The husband's response is irrelevant. The call of God is for the wife to trust and obey Him. God is calling her to love and revere Him. God will help every wife who seeks to trust and obey Him. As she places her confidence in the inspired scripture, it will prove profitable. "

I Peter 3: 1, 2 says: "In the same way you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior."

"When a wife shows respect in face and tone, it touches her husband's spirit." "Too many women have little respect for their husbands and no one has pointed out to them that this reveals their disobedience to the Word of God."
"Even if your husband is more unloving than you are disrespectful, your new respectful attitudes will motivate him to be more loving."

Okay, I could go on and on but I hope that from what you have read so far...you will agree that this book could be a great asset in your life. I know it sounds old-fashioned...but God's Word is unfailing and proven. As Christians wives there is a lot of pressure to be "independent" and we feel like we are justified in our disrespect towards our husbands, after all...look at what all we do for them...and then how they treat us in return. Humph!! But no....that is what is messing up marriages left and right. We must obey God unconditionally and let HIM work in our husband's lives. Anyway...what woman ever convinced her husband to be more loving by nagging and whining all the time? I've yet to meet one!

So, let me know what you think! The book lists this link so I thought I'd share it with you all, but I haven't actually gone there yet myself. www.loveandrespect.com
Let me know what you guys think about all this!!
I love you all and I believe that God has much better for us and our marriages than we have had so far.


Jenelle said...

Everyone I know that has read this book raves about how it has shaped and improved their marriage.

All of these principles are so true and effective, but so difficult and counter-culture. Everything that you read and hear, our selfish nature tells you otherwise.

It really comes down to believing that God has a plan for our lives. Each day is an opportunity to choose to live God's way or our own.

Amos said...

I don't know if you realize it, but this is the book that Grace used for Sunday School this past summer. It has some very good information.

Logzie said...

This is the best Christian book on marriage ever written!!


P.S.he is from Grand Rapids, MI...where I am. :-)

Amy said...

Wow, Jen! This looks like a book I need to read. I'm struggling right now with trying to figure out how to be a good wife. That may sound weird, but it's true. While J and I have an amazing relationship, I know there are areas in which I need to improve. I've heard what the Bible says about how wives should be respectful and submissive toward their husbands, but I have a hard time with that. I lived 25 years of my life doing exactly what I wanted to do and it's hard to suddenly turn that around, you know? Maybe this book would help. I wonder if they have it at my library? I'll have to check.