II Chronicles 7:14

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

8:30-9:00 a.m.

I'm realizing that the 30 minute block of time between 8:30-9:00 a.m. is one of great emotion for me. In a whirl of kisses, backpacks, prayers and goodbyes, my kids go from needing my undivided attention to being GONE for the entire remainder of the day.
In just a matter of moments things go from chaos and rush-rush to silent and lonely.
It's weird...and its happening right now....because at this moment it is 8:36 am and I just got back home from dropping them off at school.
You know those pictures you see of a heart with a jagged line going down the center of it "broken in half"?? Well, for me, you might as well label one of those halves "Brooklyn" and the other half "Grant" and it seems like I just let go of both of them.
I know...it's only for 8 hours. And more than likely when they get back, it'll only be a matter of minutes before I'm locking myself in the bathroom to get a moment of peace and quiet AWAY from them! ha ha
But right now, I miss them desperately.
I feel like "do they know how much I love them?" "do they know how proud of them I am" "do they know that they are never alone because Jesus is always with them?"
ahhh....the joys (and sorrows) of being a momma.

Because I have an IUD and don't get a monthly visible notification.....I'm never sure when PMS has hit...but I'm fairly certain it's here in a big way right now.
Yesterday was filled with raging emotion as well...but less sad and more angry. :( Today I feel like a bucket of tears just waiting to be tipped. Not really "sad" tears as much as just emotional tears. The kind of tears you cry because you think about how much you love someone and there just aren't words to express it and out pop little tears as an expression of that intense love. Yep, that's me today. Woo...this is going to be fun. :-) I better get out the waterproof mascara!


KC said...

Don't you just hate this feeling...i get it every month. I know when it's about "that time", because everything either irritates me or makes me cry! LOL!

Like your card today...made me laugh, and cry all at the same time! Miss ya girlfriend!!!!!

Rene' said...

its a crazy lonely feeling that I didn't expect, I thought I'd be jumping for joy for 'me-time' finally. But I'm at a loss. parenthood is strange.