II Chronicles 7:14

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Don't wish away what you'll someday wish for!

I was just reading one of my good friends' blogs and leaving her a comment about something that happened to me yesterday.
My friend has just given birth to her second child. She posted about how her sweet little Audrey (who is now about 7 weeks old) loves to be held while she sleeps--and while she and her husband are enjoying it right now, before too long little 'A' will have to start learning how to sleep in her own bed.
My comment back to her was "Ohhhhh, how I would LOVE to have a night cuddling with a 7 week old infant in my arms!"
Yet, I am positively certain that when my kids were 7 weeks old, I was WISHING for a night without them so I could get a full night of SOUND sleep. Not that there is anything wrong with that...but how much of our time do we spending wishing away what we will evenually wish so desperately for?
I don't want another child...yet I would give almost anything to feel that amazing feeling of a child kicking inside my belly again! How fabulous it would be if we could somehow take travels back in time to those precious, priceless moments with our children in the different stages of their lives. I would LOVE to have Brooklyn at 2 years old again, when she was waddling around in a diaper yet talking with the personality and vocabulary of a 5 year old! There was NEVER a dull moment then! What I wouldn't give to be back in that hospital bed holding my baby boy again--the son that I couldn't imagine loving as much as I loved Brooklyn--but who INSTANTLY had me wrapped around his little finger from the moment he arrived.
I remember one time when he was about 10 months old, rocking him back to sleep in the middle of the night slightly aggitated that I was missing yet another night of rest, when it suddenly occured to me that I needed to FREEZE this moment in my mind forever. It was like a sense of urgency came over me and reality hit hard and fast that in the blink of an eye...this would be gone. I remember analyzing EVERY detail of his face. Holding his tiny fingers in my hand and tracing every nail and every knuckle with my eyes. Staring at his delicate ears and neck and kissing every square inch with tears in my eyes because as bad as I wanted to...I knew that I would never be able to remember EXACTLY how he looked--how he felt there in my arms. There is no way to caputure it completely. It was bitter sweet.
As I type this right now, there is a gigantic tear running down my left cheek. Even right now, Grant at 5 years old and Brooklyn at 8, I find myself growing weary with the stages that they are in. Always thinking "boy I'll be glad when ____________ is over."
But will I really?
The "thing" that I mentioned happened to me yesterday was just a simple little conversation, but it sparked a flame inside of me that I hope just grows stronger and stronger with time.
I was at Wal-Mart getting a long list of groceries. Grant had been chitter-chattering NON-stop for hours asking questions and commenting on any and everything. He hardly stopped talking long enough to take a breath. While his personality was adorable and almost everything he was saying was cute and funny, still...there came a point where I was said "GRANT! You are about to WEAR me OUT!" (not in a mean way...but with a big sigh...like WHEW!) At that time a sweet-looking older lady came over to me with a warm smile and said "To a grandmother, that is the sweetest sound ever. Someday you'll miss it!"
She is SO right! Sometimes when I wish my kids would just SHUT UP....I remind myself what a mother who has lost a child would give to just hear her beloved child's voice one more time.

We really should make every effort we can to enjoy these moments. You'll never regret it if you do. I promise you--no one ever looked back at their life and said "I wish I had spend less time enjoying my kids."


Rock Chef said...

Losing a child taught me to treasure every moment, whether it is a hug or a teenage tantrum.

Amiee said...

Thanks Jen this post really touched me, sometimes you need to need a reminder to appreciate the little moments in life.

Kate said...

thanks for the reminder to enjoy the moment. Much as I keep looking to the future all the time, this moment is the gift I've bene given and why should I spend precious time wishing it away?

Rene' said...

so true. I think about this all the time. I catch myself if I am not giving them my full attention bc I am too busy doing dishes or making dinner or something truly unimportant that I have needlessly made more important than what my kids are up to. Ihonestly try to give them more attention so they will look back and remember me as always being there for them, instead of just someone who is too busy to pay attention to them. I look at them all the time and just smile relishing in the beauty of their moment right now. I really wish I could capture those moments like u say-because it will be too soon when they are teens or moving out and getting married----we'll definately long for the days of little babes.

Amy said...

I loved this post, Jen. I do have many, many times when I just stop and tell myself "Remember every detail of this moment. They'll never be this little again. Enjoy it while you can."

On those nights when Audrey has a tummyache and keeps us up til 2 am and we have to get up at 5 to get all our stuff done for the day or those days when Easton whines ALL. DAY. LONG. I get caught up in the "oh, I can't wait til this is over!" thinking.

I've even fantasized about leaving the kids with a sitter and checking into a hotel to sleep with my hubby. And by that I do mean just to SLEEP!! A few uninterrupted hours of sleep sounds like the best fantasy this tired mama can think of right now!

But on those days, I keep singing Trace Adkins' song "You're Gonna Miss This" over and over to myself because it is SO TRUE!! I know that sounds silly because both my kids are under two. (I can only imagine this feeling gets worse as they get older.) But it helps me stop and just be in the moment with my babies while they're still babies.

Thanks for reminding me to just take time to BE with my kids. In the moment. Present. I think that's the best gift I can give my kids. My time and complete, undivided attention. But BOY that's hard to do sometimes! :)

Christy said...

Great post!

*Ashley Lou* said...

Wow!! What an awesome post and blog! I can't wait to see what you talk about next! You almost made me sad about it and I don't even have kids yet! Loved it!!