II Chronicles 7:14

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Life is about love..not $$$

Here is what has happened since I talked to you last:
Thursday night, me, Brooklyn, my mom and my grandma all went and had a picture taken together. It turned out really cute. Then we went to a cool Asian diner and had a yummy dinner. Then it was back to the mall to pick up our pictures and Brooklyn and I shopped for about half an hour. Kendra, our babysitter and friend, works at A&F so we went by and said hi to her. I don't usually shop in there because it is too expensive, but she showed me where the clearance rack was, so of course, I had to see what bargains they had. Anyway, I found the CUTEST pair of jeans for $19.99 that were originally $69.50! So I bought them and we headed home.

***Now let me fill you in on a little something to prepare you for this next paragraph.***

About a week ago, Matt and I had a long discussion about our finances. We both agreed that we were going to "pull the reins in a little tighter" so-to-speak and not buy stuff just because we want it or because its a bargain. We realized that with our new house payments and a few other short-term payments that we have, we are stretched pretty tight financially right now. I admitted that it's hard for me to pass up a good deal, even when it something we don't really need---usually clothes for the kids, and I agreed to be much less frivolous with my spending. Now, having said that, I was pretty nervous about bringing a new pair of jeans home and showing them to him. I called him on the way home and could tell by just a minute or two of conversation, that this was not the night to bring it up. I decided to just go home, put them in the closet and then show them to him when the "time was right." Now, in my defense, I want to tell you that had I thought he would really mind if I bought them, I wouldn't have done it. I also could really use a pair of jeans. With this pair, that makes 4 pairs of jeans TOTAL that I own, so I didn't feel like buying them would constitute "unnecessary and wasting money."

So, Friday rolls around and we are scheduled to go to a Marriage Seminar that night and half a day on Saturday. We begin getting ready to go and I decide "we've had a pretty good day", I think I'll wear my new jeans. WELL, if you can't already guess what happened, let me tell you! A volcano erupted right there in my closet. Not only had I bought a pair of jeans "after we had JUST had that long discussion about money"..but on top of that, I was "hiding them from him." At that moment, there was nothing I could say in defense that was going to make any difference and a verbal war broke out. (in front of the kids too....to my dismay) I ended up taking the kids and going to the seminar all by myself. Once inside, I found a seat on the 2nd row and got ready to hear something that would solve all my marital problems. Instead I got a dose of truth that brought a steady current of tears to my eyes and down my face. My "answer" was this: It's time put higher priorty on my relationship with God and the other things in my life will become better too. I already knew this deep inside, but I wanted to hear something easy...something like "go home, walk around the recliner 3 times and chant 'we are in love. we are in love. we are in love.' and then wait for all your dreams to come true." As silly as that sounds, I think subconciously, that's what most of are doing. We don't want to put so much thought and effort into making our relationships what they should be. We want an easy fix. (kinda like the same way we want to lose weight!) But nothing worth anything comes free. It takes time and work to produce something of value...including a good marriage. And it all begins with time and work making yourself the kind of person someone would want to be married to. I've probably shared this with you guys before but one of my favorite quotes is "Marriage is not so much finding the right person as being the right person." It's SO true!
Anyway, enough 'marriage seminar' for you all, back to the story.
I went home after the seminar with black mascara streaks all down my face and apparently Matt had had a change of heart too while I was gone. We apologized to each other for letting such a silly thing escalate so big and went to bed.
Saturday we got up and went to the last 2 sessions in the seminar and leared some wonderful, practical things that we can't wait to apply to our lives! One of the biggest things we learned and are excited about is making some goals for our lives together.--Something we've never done.--figuring out where we see ourselves in 5 years from now and then making changes in our lives to reflect those desires.

This brings me to today. It's Sunday morning and I am up early before anyone else in the house. Mostly because I couldn't sleep but also because I thought this would be a good time to finish my work from Friday that I didn't get done. Of course, what am I doing? Talking to you all instead of working! Shame on me!
Anyway, today we are going to my niece's house about an hour and a half away to have dinner and visit with my brothers family. Getting together with them is always SO much FUN so I am really looking forward to this day. I guess, though, for now, I better go and get to work before someone wakes up and my opportunity is gone! Love you all!


Amy said...

That sounds like something Jason and I struggle with A LOT! Oh great! Does this mean Jason and I will still be fighting over this after we've been married 8 years?Ha!ha!

You and I are so much alike...can't pass up a good deal! I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but since we fight over that very same thing nearly every month, I don't have much to suggest.

What I try to do is remember Jason's probably just stressed out about $ and not really mad about whatever I purchased at all. But I do try to limit myself to only a few of those "got to have it" purchases. And Jason has come to understand that if I see something that's a good bargain, I'm going to get it because it might actually save us money in the long run because it's on sale. (Did that make sense?)
Anyway, hang in there!

Amy said...

P.S. Geez, I write long comments! Sorry! Next time I'll email it to so I don't take up a ton of space on your blog. :)

M, J, B, G...and Sam. said...

Amy, I love your comments and you can make them as long as you want! I'm not worried about space. (should I be?) I didn't know there was "space". Is there a limited amount or something? And yes, I agree, we are a lot alike...that's probably why we've kept up with each other all these years! I can always count on you to understand me! Luv ya! Jen

Kristin said...

Ok I can't really comment on the whole marriage thing! Because as you see mine didn't work out!! I can however tell you never to pass up a good deal because in the long run you are usually saving money. Thats how mom and I see it. However I'm a real big budget person and when I max out the play money for the month no matter what I stop. I know it sucks having a business degree! I will say this though if I haven't maxed out another area of my budget say the gas part I use it instead. Well I'll let you go! Have a good week!