II Chronicles 7:14

If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha....

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

WHY MEN PEE STANDING UP:

God was just about done creating man, but he had two things left over in his bag and He couldn't quite decide how to split them between Adam and Eve.
He thought He might just as well ask them. He told them one of the things He had left was a thing-a-mabob that would allow the owner to pee while standing up. "It's a very handy thing," God told them, "and I was wondering if either one of you had a preference for it."
Well, Adam jumped up and down and begged, "Oh, please give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems like just the sort of thing a man should have. Please! Pleeease! Give it to me!" On and on he went like an excited little boy.
Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, he could have it.
So God gave Adam the thing that allowed him to pee standing up. Adam was so excited he just started whizzing all over the place -- first on the side of a rock, then he wrote his name in the sand, and then he tried to see if he could hit a stump ten feet away -- laughing with delight all the while.
God and Eve watched him with amusement and then God said to Eve, "Well, I guess you're kind of stuck with the last thing I have left"
"What's it called?" asked Eve.
"Brains," said God

2 comments:

M, J, B, G...and Sam. said...

K. that last joke is just for you! Hope it brightens your day!

Kristin said...

That is sooooo good!! I sure did brighten my day! Well I'm off to a party at Kids Day Out. I'll update some pics soon. Hope you guys have a good day!