there's gotta be more to life...

I bet most, if not all of you, have heard the Stacy Orrico song that came out a few years ago called "There's gotta be more". Here are the lyrics to refresh your memory:

I've got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let it go

There's gotta be more to life...Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
Than wanting more

I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing

I'm always waiting on something other than this


Yup...that's pretty much how I feel today. I'm sick of "chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me".

Today on the way home from our holiday trip, Brooklyn and I were playing one of her Nintendo DS games. You write a question to the other person on your DS and send it to them and they answer and send it to your DS.
Well, I wrote "What is one thing that makes Mommy happy?"
You wanna know what her answer was???
"Being away from me and Grant".
Yes...that was her serious answer. It made me cry.
Why......why am I like this? Why are my kids growing up thinking that the only time I'm happy is when I'm AWAY from them? Where did I miss it? What if I don't figure "it" out soon and their whole childhoods are ruined and wasted?
O.
M.
G.
!!!!!!!!!!!