"M" is for Mom, NOT Maid!!!

What is it about having a sleepover that somehow makes me the maid or the kid-slave? My 9 year old daughter suddenly starts ordering me around saying "make this" and "get us that" and "we need this" when she has friends over.
After having stayed up half the night, I had hoped that they would sleep in a bit this morning so that I could get my work for the doctors office early completed before the "real day" began. But no such luck. I forget that other peoples kids don't sleep till nearly-noon like my kids do. So...when we have company, oftentimes they are up at the crack of dawn before I can even begin my work. Right now it is 7:47 and they have been up for almost an hour. And I'm actually sitting at my desk trying to work..but what prompted this post was this comment/question that was just SHOUTED AT me from my daughter: "MOM! WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE BREAKFAST? WE ARE HUNGRY!! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT THAT???"

Excuse me?!...seriously? Maybe other mothers wait on their children for every little wish and whim? I don't know...but I honestly think that is doing them a disservice. It ain't gonna happen like that in the real world baby. And furthermore, I have overcome the desire or the need to be "better than or as good as all the other moms". Brooklyn has one friend who she stays the night with sometimes whose mother always makes them this AMAZING GOURMET breakfast. I'm talking from scratch pancakes, eggs, bacon, hashbrowns, sausage ....anything they want, she just whips it right up. (and no, it's none of you who read this blog :o) I think that is awesome and wonderful that she can do that for them....who wouldn't love that? BUT..I am not her. I have several part time jobs to do each day and that doesn't always give me the opportunity to be Betty Crocker. Does that make me mean or un-caring? My daughter thinks so.

Entitlement. I hate it. It's never a good attitude or personality to have. A person who thinks they are entitled to everything is full of PRIDE and lacking humility. I will not tolerate it in my children either. So even if I get the "mean mom" title for this, my children are going to learn that it takes WORK to get your needs met. I personally think that the only thing parents need to do for their kids all the time is things that they cannot physically or mentally do. If my child is capable of picking up their room, putting away their laundry, brushing their teeth, making their bed, setting the table, feeding the dogs, fixing their hair, putting in a movie, etc....then they can be expected to DO IT. Not to say that I won't "baby" them from time to time...hold them and rock them and let them lay in bed while I do the work for them...of course I will...but I won't DARE allow them to think that THAT is the way it should be and is supposed to be. No, I will TEACH (TRAIN) them HOW to do it and then I will pat their little tush off on its way to complete the task themselves.

Think of the gift some young man is going to receive one day when he asks for my daughters hand in marriage and she is completely capable of running a home beautifully!? By the time she is of age to be married, I expect her to be able to balance a checkbook, develop and use a budget, pay bills online, cook healthy and delicious dinners, wash clothes, mow the lawn, organize drawers/closets, etc. If I love her, I will set her up for success in marriage and life. Also (and some of you may want to close your eyes for this part) but I GUARAN-DANG-TEE ya I will not let her get married before she understands her body and how it works and what sex is all about. I know too many girls ( and I was one) who get married with NO EARTHLY IDEA what they are supposed to do or feel. It took seven very long and hard, frustrating and tear-filled years of marriage before I finally was given a book by my dear friend Amy, that actually described in detail a woman's body and what things were/where they were and why they were there. Believe me when I say....that discovery changed my LIFE. God intended sex to be an important part of marriage and it's just IGNORANT to send your child (esp. a girl) into a marriage where she's just suddenly supposed to figure it all out. It may happen for some...but just like breastfeeding...even though it's "natural" it doesn't always COME natural. There are things that are better off taught at the beginning so you can skip gobs of "lost time" trying to figure it out. My marriage nearly ENDED because of this.
Whew...Sorry! I got off on a little bunny trail there...but I am SO passionate about that subject. It pretty much ruined my marriage for many years and I refuse to let my children go through that. I love my parents and I think the world of them, but I seriously grew up thinking sex was dirty and bad and gross and nasty and something girls just have to "endure". I especially thought (and this was one of the biggest hurdles for me to overcome) that if you were a woman who LIKED sex...well, then, Ahh! you must be a slut. How nasty that you might LIKE it!
WOW....was I ever WRONG! If liking it makes you a slut, then go ahead and call me one with a capital "S".. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! :-)
Okay...I'm blushing so maybe I better move on with this conversation.
I was just going to add that this stuff also applies to my son. While I won't be the one teaching him much about sex...his daddy can explain that to him...I will expect him to be capable of doing all those things I will expect his sister to know too. What a PRIZE some girl who is just like his mama is going to get one day when she takes his last name and becomes his wife! :o)
Imagine that ladies...a man who does dishes, cooks, cleans, mows, budgets, organizes and plans dates for his bride! Yessiree....that's what I'm talkin' about!

Whew...I got a bit carried away there with this whole post...but there you have it--me spilling my un-edited, un-thought-out guts for you in a matter of minutes. I hope I didn't offend anyone....but if I did, e-mail me and I'll explain myself more.

Now...for breakfast...hope they like cereal and pop tarts! :o)